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reSLience… a.k.a. resilience

it's what lies within that really matters

So is the number 13 lucky or unlucky? Is the glass half full or half empty? It all depends on the angle from which you view the number or the glass. Most would say we are negative beings by nature as we grow older. It is easier to expect something bad. It takes considerably more energy to envision something positive. Brain research tells us it takes at least 10 to 15 positive statements to overshadow 1 negative statement. So… with all this being said… I can see why we think 13 is unlucky.

Bigd and I just recently celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary. Lucky or unlucky? I say lucky. No marriage is perfect and every marriage is different. Marriage takes a lot of twists and turns you are never warned about in the “Happily Ever Afters” you read about as a little girl. It also isn’t the 50-50 even split you think it should be when you agree to spend the rest of your life with someone. Sometimes it is 60-40 or 75-25 or even 90-10. It is a give and take. It is a really loud yelling match with no agreement and a quiet never ending snuggle under the covers. It is celebrations and sadness. It is family, teamwork, silliness, laughter, compromise, and bottom line-end of the day – committment to make things work. Long Haul. It is lucky – but it is much much more than lucky.

When I taught writing, I used to have my students draw roadmaps of their lives. I told them to be creative in the shape, the twists, turns, and other features they would include on their roadmaps. As I thought of what this post would become over and over in my head last night, I thought I would share some of the markers on our “Lucky 13 Roadmap.” Kinda personal – sure. Universally human – undoubtedly yes!

By Year 5 in our marriage, Bigd and I had 2 beautiful baby boys, owned our first home, completed 2 Masters’ degrees, and survived 3 part-time jobs in order to make ends meet in addition to our teaching careers. By Year 7, Bigd and I had endured a miscarriage and a major career change. By Year 9, twins – a beautiful baby boy and girl – had entered our lives, major career change had led to promotion, more part-time jobs had been endured and a move was in the works. After the twins arrived, life went into permanent fast-forward. A major move, teaching job changes, and a kick-ass daily commute were new notches on our marriage. Year 12 a silly thing called SL came along. It offered a whole new host of things to explore, experience and think about. Celebrating “Lucky 13” has brought amazing new challenges for Bigd and I to face – together – as a team. I am confident we can do it. I am committed to our team and every member on it. I remind myself it is all about the perspective.

My glass is half full – approaching full every day. 13 will be lucky. I can’t picture it any other way!

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