Skip to content

reSLience… a.k.a. resilience

it's what lies within that really matters

Monthly Archives: April 2008

When you are a kid, birthdays are everything. You recount your age in terms of halves and quarters even. Being eight and a half is a big deal. Being five and three quarters is a big deal. It is a status thing.

As you grow up there are certain milestones you hit that you can hardly wait to reach. Thirteen – FINALLY a teenager. Sixteen – NOW I can drive! Eighteen – Shrug, now I’m legal – I can vote. I suppose some move out or get kicked out. I went off to college and thought I knew it all 🙂 Don’t you, after all, know it all when you are eighteen? Then, TWENTY-ONE – the magical legal age for bars and buying alcohol. The age you wish you were ever since you moved out at age eighteen and hussled up a fake ID to say you were.

Then come the dreaded milestones as you get older. I remember twenty-nine. I remember telling people it was my twenty-ninth birthday and they didn’t believe me. Yeah, right… twenty-nine. I’m twenty-nine too. Sigh. Thirty came and went. Thirty was a little traumatic but I spent the time recounting all my accomplishments by the time I was thirty and reassured myself that it was ok.

By thirty-five I had twins and life was so moment-to-moment topsy turvy that I didn’t know whether I was coming or going between my babies, my older children, my husband, my career, and our move.

So… the years continue to accumulate. Before I know it, I’m thirty-NINE! Good Lord! I’m almost FORTY! Have I lost all that baby fat I needed to lose? I hear it gets harder once you hit FORTY. Have I been wearing sunscreen? I hear those wrinkles really start after FORTY. Have I been getting enough sleep and eating well and and and and and and and…. WHEW!

Before my head explodes, I take a deep breath and enjoy taking pride in all I have and all I am at age thirty-nine. I won’t bore you with my long list of blessings. I’ve recounted them in posts past and still feel that way, with even more to add. But, I will share with you a site I found today that makes you think about your age in terms of days. I love this. Take a minute to read his thoughts. This is the same guy that shared the frightening world clock with us.

As of TODAY, I am 14247 days old! The other ego boost follows in his Life Expectancy – Virtual Age Calculator. You get points added or points taken off depending on various lifestyle choices. I am VERY proud to share with you my results! Hoo!

A few years back I began counting my age not in years, but days.

The day is the natural cycle of our lives. The cycle of light and dark, wakefulness and sleep, has more significance than the cycle of the seasons. Indeed, in equatorial latitudes, you hardly notice the passing of the seasons. The day is what counts.

Each day is a complete unit in itself. At the end of each day I can look back and take stock. How have I been? What have I learned? What can I be grateful for?

I can hold a day’s experience in mind quite easily. Trying to go back and take stock of a whole year is much harder. Numerous incidents and discoveries are inevitably forgotten.

I also find it far more meaningful to think that I have lived through nearly twenty thousand days this life, rather than 50 years. And it reframes the future. I have — probably — thousands of days still to come. Thousands of new days to discover, enjoy and learn from.

Living Each Day in the Present. It is easy to go through our days on semi-automatic, caught up in doing and thoughts about the past and the future, not experiencing the present moment in its fullness.

~ Peter Russell, “The Spirit of Now”

Thank you Peter Russell. I needed to just slow down a bit and think. This helped me do that. I am so thankful for each day. So much of our lives are spent racing like a hamster on a wheel trying to get somewhere and yet we are still in the same place. Thinking about the gift of a day makes all the difference.


Sleep is NOT overrated. Get some! (and I mean that in the nicest way possible) I will now take my own advice. If you can’t sleep, maybe you should read up on some tips… can you believe it? A BLOG about Sleep! Hoo! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Good night 🙂

Mondays. Day after a birthday. (I still need to post thank you’s for all the fun SL birthday happenings. My SL friends were so wonderful!! Mental note to come back and do that – so stay tuned.)

Work colleagues enjoy food as much as I do. Gotta love being with people who really “get” you. Gotta love people you work with even more if they choose to celebrate in style when it is your turn for a birthday!

I have to post and share this because my SL friends share my love of music. I must credit my favorite work colleague on her well-researched lunch suggestion. Hoooo Barb!

The menu is FANTASTIC! The atmosphere is beautifully modern and sophisticated. And the thought of meeting Carlos Santana in person there sounds even better 🙂 The waiter told us he will be performing in the Valley later in the Fall and he hopes he’ll just happen to drop by. We learned the only other resturant he has open currently is the one in Walnut Creek, CA. How FUN would that be – delicious food, great music, and a little brush with greatness?

The waiter also told us that all the music played is from a server directly from Mr. Santana himself. His own personal music selections, including a few of his own works. Also, a large wall in the corner had a large LCD showing concert clips of Santana performances. How nice is it to enjoy lunch with Rob Thomas and Santana, hmmmm? 😉

On that note -I’ll leave you to enjoy the resturant’s signature song…

I attended an event on Saturday as part of a 12 hour fundraiser called Blues for Autism. After being tired from my own week of events and Linden gathering, it was nice to just go and be a participant and a donor, rather than an organizer.

Please take some time to read through this post by clicking the link below. It describes in such articulate fashion the shape of charity and giving that is extremely live and well in SL!

“Synergy of Volunteerism in the Virtual Environment”

Thank you Magi McBride for your tireless work for a great cause. I’m thankful there are people out there in SL and RL moving Autism Awareness forward. Hoo!

$233,030 Lindens = $879.66 US
Wow! We did it! We completely surpassed our SL dreams and raised well over the $100,000 Lindens I had predicted and the $50,000 Lindens Blissie had said she’d be happy with. Almost $900 for the American Cancer Society! Hooooo!

I so appreciate everyone who gave up their SL earnings this week, as retailers, as club owners, as disk jockies, as musicians, as dancers, as club goers. Thank you for your amazing generousity to give give give.

Counting up those Lindens after the crowd headed home…
When we started this event I was so excited about it. When I’m excited about something, I can’t help it – it spills into every part of my life – RL and SL. I told my colleagues at work I was working on a fundraiser. I told my parents I was working on a fundraiser. Interest and curiosity led to conversations about SL throughout the week.
“Isn’t that an online game?” “You’ve been playing that for a while, haven’t you?” “Kim stop talking about those people and things like they are real, you’ll get me thinking they are real, and they are imaginary.” LOL!
It led to tours of SL at work. Just brief ones where the size of my chest was criticized and admired. I showed off my wardrobe and my beautiful home and island. I connected with some RL contacts online, inworld and shared with them pieces of my SLife providing a tour of our home in Bel Cove. The response from one was “Man, you are into this Hard Core! Did you guys make all this?”
I had one friend say “If I could, I would just write a check – let me know who to write it to.” In retrospect, I should have done that. If I would have collected RL funds from them in my informal publicity campaign of excitement about the week, I probably could have brought up our week’s total to $1000.
Through all this though, it has brought to light what SL is and can be. It has illuminated the type of person I am, and the types of people I choose to associate with in SL. It takes a team to make something like this happen successfully. It takes creative and organized minds (not necessarily mine – but I’m trying). It takes enthusiasm and passion. It takes ingenuity and generousity, but most of all it takes WORK. Things like this don’t happen, and happen successfully without a lot of hard work. These are qualities that transcend SL and show the kind of person you are in RL. You can talk talk talk about doing good things, but it takes work, the kind that makes you roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty, to make something a success.
I am so proud of all the people who helped make this week possible. I’m so so so grateful that Ms. Blissie Boucher had the enthusiasm to give me the gentle nudge to help her. From there it just snowballed. Bigd of course just said you tell me where to be Kim and I’ll be there. He knows I know he’ll do what it takes – and he did! We have to have quite the coordination efforts on the homefront to pull of such intensive SL activities. We had a week of pizza and he who’s (where you find what you’re hungry for and eat it), and frozen dinners. My boss at work was generous enough to encourage me enthusiastically to have fun and leave early the night of the concert. The traffic cooperated each night – yes, a shout out to those I-10 driving friends – Thank you!
I knew Blissie knew the real me when I received a note from her one day saying “OMG you are the co-worker who is way on top of email and fills everyone’s inboxes aren’t you!” I knew SL had taken on my RL personality officially when I was writing notes with bullet points and next steps.
And then, there are those who do business in and out, every day in SL. The DJs, Crighton Johin, who knew exactly how to conduct a date auction and asked me if I had interview notecards to give to those being auctioned off and request their favorite songs. He knew to make an auction schedule and set up a stage to direct attention to. He knew how to send out announcements with attachments. And what he didn’t know how to do (like make floating text above a gift box), his RL wife, Jenda did. Jenda Starbrook was a patient soul. I have already blogged about her yesterday. Bigd referred to her as the “Rainmaker” last night after all was said and done. She has an amazing following, she jumped in and created unique gifts to support our event and those who donated, and her little avitar butt brought in over $40,000Lindens for a date. WOWOW!
DJ Borday Moo brought his following and sexy voice to the event. He was able to send out announcements and attract a crowd. He even got naked one night to the tune of some donation subtotal. He is one crazy Moo! Ms. Busybee Beaver donated her BeeHive to house it all all week and put up with my constant questions of “Can we rez this here?” “Do you mind sending this out?” “Do you have a…?” I am hopeful we brought in more club goers to The Bee Hive in days and weeks to come as a result, and more listeners and attendees to Borday and Crighton’s events.

Yes… a REAL LIFE band in SL! Check them out!

“Friendly Fire” performed a first ever live concert event at The Bee Hive this week. Case and MacK’s following brought a whole new host of people to the club and gave the donations a huge Hump Day boost! They were the perfect middle-of-the-week ingredient to keep us all going and inspired.

Party Like A Rockstar Event… Where else would you rather be?
So… did we sit on our butts too much this week? Perhaps in SL yes (unless you include all the multitasking it takes to run a house with 4 kids while being logged in for hours on end). Did we show the world there is more to SL than that smut they write about in the NY Times? Well at least in my little world I hope we did!
Relay for Life American Cancer Society will continue to have fundraisers for the next several weeks inworld. People can still come by The BeeHive and donate to the kiosk that Blissie left out. Maybe we even gathered more Lindens overnite. The group charity leaders who visited last night asked us if we could do another one because our week was more successful. Do I dare tell them – wait a few weeks to ask us that? 🙂
Cancer touches each of us in different ways. I am so blessed to know survivors in my life. Those who have had cancer and battled it successfully. I have also lost loved ones to cancer. It is a horrible monster that must be stopped. If my little piece of SL can help bring some RL dollars to support the cause and the great efforts of the American Cancer Society, I am happy to do it! My dad commented to me spontaneously this week, “Well that’s more money than you would bring in just going door to door in your neighborhood!” And, how true that is! I enjoyed the comfort of my family room couch and had fun and still helped in a tiny way.
I hope you will join the effort. Take time to contribute. Donate funds, donate time, or at least encourage others to do so. In a world that thrives on personalities of “Me First” it is refreshing to associate with those who put funds and time and encouragement in front of themselves for a great cause.
I’ll step down from the soapbox now with a final “Thank You.”

Two tired girls kick off their heels, share a chocolate cherry martini, put on their weekend hair, and say…

Thank you!

There is this little shop on SL that has grown in just under a month. It has grown from one floor to two. It has grown from just a few furniture sets to a whole houseful overflowing of sets. It may just be the best place on SL to buy furniture: MOXIE!

In RL, if I could, I would spend money by the wheelbarrels-full at Pottery Barn. I just love that style, I love their stuff. But, I am a realist. I have 4 kids and I have a champagne tastes on a beer budget. I’ll patiently wait to have my RL Pottery Barn housefull of furniture for some day in the future when life is quieter and my pocketbook is fuller. But… I digress.

Moxie, fresh from the imagination of Jenda Starbrook, brings fun and funky textures and patterns to the most modern and comfortable of SL furniture. She is a contemporary stylist who brings my love of Pillow Talk poses and creativity to bedrooms, living rooms, and outdoor settings.

Have you stopped by to spend a few Lindens at Moxie yet? If not, let me give you ANOTHER reason. Jenda jumped on board, without question and without hesitation, to support the Spank Pack/BeeHive Relay for Life Rockers American Cancer Society Event this week. She was the first SL retailer to say MOST DEFINITELY! She was the most patient SL retailer to suffer through my never ending string of questions about how scripts work, how to make the kiosks do this and that, and oh yeah could we try this. She is a great friend and an amazing SL teacher that I wouldn’t want to be without inworld or out! (And pretty darn sexy too -did I mention that? 🙂 well, see below for yourself – you tell me!)

Support Relay for Life and purchase her Breast Cancer Awareness Bear. I wish I had one of these in RL. Jenda – can you make that script come to life for me in RL too? Support Relay for Life with the purchase of a very special edition of her Circ Chairs and Chocolate Cherry Martini Set – designed especially for our event! You KNOW you can’t live without those! Who doesn’t enjoy sitting with a friend on a Friday afternoon and sipping a Chocolate Cherry Martini! Ok… I’m a bit ahead of myself at 8:15 a.m. and a whole RL workday ahead of me. Hold that thought. Save me one… it will be 5 o’clock somewhere soon enough.

In the meantime, thank you Jenda and Moxie; and all the other SL retailers who have helped make this week a success! HOOOOO!

There are some things you never forget. Riding a bike is most certainly one of them. It is a life-long skill and best learned when you are young. Teaching someone how to ride a bike also seems like a life-long skill. Both riding and teaching bicycles are metaphors for life. You encounter things about yourself you never knew when you begin to ride, and then, when you try to teach someone else you encounter things you never expected.

Metaphor 1: Balance is a lot like keeping everything steady and on an even-keel in life. When you first take off, you have to learn how to keep yourself steady. It seems almost impossible. Concentrating on moving your feet to push the pedals, steering the bicycle the right direction. Come to a turn – sharp or otherwise – and look out – balance becomes an advanced skill!

Teaching someone else to balance is similar – and yet the trick is being in tune enough with them to know when to let go. When does the rider have the feel, the balance intuitively, that you know as a spotter that you can let go safely and they will ride off perfectly balanced independently?

I find myself thinking about that intuitive need to balance and how it relates to my own life. Some days as I start off slow, or up a hill, or have to come to a screetching hault, my balance may falter a bit. If I’m relying on someone else for my balance, I must be in tune with them – and vice versa. I have to be independent, but not too independent.

Metaphor 2: Self-Reliance and moving toward a goal. Riding a bike finds you providing the power to propel you forward. Other than gravity on a hill, the bike requires you to move it forward. If you push hard, it goes fast. If you slow your pedaling, you slow your travel. You learn to rely on yourself and know that even if you might have some help, from the wind, from the hill, from gravity moving you along… ultimately you are the one making things go. Isn’t this true about life? No one else can power your legs to move you faster. No one else can really make you go a speed you do not want to go. And ultimately, where you end up on your bike is where you set out to go in the beginning. Goal setting and achievements in life are a lot like that as well. You have to plan where you are going. If you don’t plan, you have to be ok with where you end up and be ready to plan for where you are going next.

I’m excited Noah has deciding bike riding is his thing. It will serve him so well – physically, emotionally, even spiritually. Alone time, pedaling, breathing in cool crisp morning air can be spiritual.

I always felt the downfall of my physically fit state was when I got a car. Relying on my bike to get me where I needed to go in college did limit my geographic boundaries but it also kept me in the best shape I had ever been in.

I look forward to getting reaquainted with my mountain bike. Noah was surprised I still remembered how to ride it and could keep up with him (heehee – I’m not THAT old!). And, I look forward to getting the rest of my family mobile. For now, Noah is left to ride with either D or I… but I can picture all of us in the near future. We will be quite the gang pedaling down the street. Will that mean the serenity of a ride will be lost if my entire noisy crew becomes mobile? I’ll keep you posted. I may change my bike riding/life philosophies if that is the case.

Enjoy your Friday! Save some fuel and pedal somewhere.