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reSLience… a.k.a. resilience

it's what lies within that really matters

I have been bombarded with emails today when I sent something through our work email system by mistake with my personal login sending everything that bounces back to my personal work email address. Needless to say, ever since 3:00 pm, my email inbox has been filled hour after hour with returned mail. Much of my job is email based depending on the day, and this afternoon’s email bombardment of nonsensical messages made for an exhausting end of the day. I made my boss happy though, she needed it done and even though I sent it as myself, it got sent.

I’ve started working a lot in SL too. I hostess at 2 clubs primarily. I enjoy the tips and being welcoming and chatty. In some cases I have helped grow interest in a club that was struggling from day to day. I have noticed though that it has changed SL for me. It has added pressure and obligation where there used to be none. I enjoy it, but I find myself wondering if I have taken the fun out of it.

I suppose if it gets right down to it, I need to decide who I am making happy. If it is no longer fun, then it is time for a break. I always had a strict rule for myself in my first few months of SL that I would pay for Lindens if I really wanted them because SL was entertainment – and I work too hard in RL to not just enjoy SL. Good policy, I thought. I was really good about it for almost a year. Then, I put my toe in the working world of SL. I’m a work-a-holic. I admit it. I work long hours at my job in RL to get things just right. I can’t turn my brain off sometimes. Once I started with some work in SL, I found the same applied. Achieve, achieve kicked in.

I don’t want SL to lose its magic. I need to do some thinking. If I am working for me, because of what it can do to improve the things I want to do and own and be in SL, then it is worth it. If I am working to make others happy, or for the attaboys, then it isn’t.

My RL life is very hectic right now. Having everyone home for the summer is a blessing and a curse. It means that we don’t have the hecticness when I leave in the a.m. – I only have to worry about myself getting out the door. But on the other hand, when I hit the door at night, they have had all day without me at home. They need me and want to tell me about everything they did all day, and want me to be ready to entertain them for a bit. I haven’t been good lately at that. Working in SL makes it harder to multitask like I used to in RL. I can’t go AFK for very long or I feel like I am not doing a good job (see told you I was achieve, achieve).

Tonight ended on a tired and cranky note. It is only Hump day. Two more days to go and Friday is a busy, full one in RL that I can’t be tired and cranky for.

Thanks for listening. Sometimes it helps to write it all down. Makes it easier in black and white. Makes it easier to see what really matters. I’ll make better decisions in the morning after a good night’s sleep but a heartfelt blog post was much needed for my psychie this evening.

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