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reSLience… a.k.a. resilience

it's what lies within that really matters

So flying across the country always makes me stressed up until the point I get through airport security. Once I do, I figure I’m all ok. This time I was doing all carry on luggage which does make me stressed about fitting it all in the plane – but I figure I’ve made it past the hardest hurdles: packing without too much kid freak out, cleaning up the house without too much craziness and mess making behind me, walking out the door without too much kid freak out, and then driving through rush hour traffic to get to the airport.

Today I ran into 3 of the 5. Rachel, my baby girl, cried the whole time I finished getting ready this morning at 5 am and packing up my last minute items. She clung to me while I straightened my hair and did my makeup – just sobbing. I had told her she could go out on a special date tonight with Daddy – just she and Daddy. Dave and I had talked about him taking her for ice cream and then they could bring some home for the boys. She thought that was a horrible idea and sobbed about that too. She kept telling me she didn’t want me to go on vacation. I actually see my work travel in almost 95% of all cases far from a vacation. Packed from morning until late night – in a different time zone ends up being far from my idea of a vacation. If I could go to bed early or sleep in late, maybe it would qualify it somewhat.

I had slacked last night on my clean up plans so I didn’t score any points there. I hate leaving the house looking like a bomb went off – especially with my dad coming to help. I know they all say they don’t care – and the bathrooms and kitchen are clean – but the clutter is so brutal. I had done the kitchen but not the rest before I went to bed last night. I have no one to blame but myself and apologized for not doing my share. 

Then I hopped on the freeway – leaving plenty of time – only to come to a grinding hault easily 25 miles away from my destination because of a 4 car accident involving highway patrol that was blocking all lanes. They had literally closed down the freeway eastbound. I always drive in the far left lanes because I go straight through. Silly me. The traffic gods smiled upon me though – and I did the blinker on, thank you wave, across 4 lanes to exit at the end of the triangle painted on the road for the exit lane. I maneuvered around my obstacles and made it with plenty of time to spare.

A woman and her son ran to the gate and stopped beside me as we were all boarding. She said “Oh my god –it took us 2 hours to get here because of the accident on the freeway!” She was so stressed and breathless. I told her I completely understood and she had thankfully made it in time. Just confirmed that things somehow do work out the way you need them to if you ask for a little supernatural assistance – seriously.

So here I am – no movie in flight – no sound working I guess. I figured you all were a captive audience and I pulled out my laptop to blog. I did a little imaginary shopping on skymall for everyone in my family and most of my friends. All the things you never knew you needed but now can’t live without are in skymall. You know – that special storage system for your garage. The do it yourself acupuncture kit. The in home exercise gym that folds up to be the size of a folding chair. The indoor dog mat to let dogs have a bathroom spot in the house (ewwww!). Honestly – what more could one ask for? So – my work can wait. I have shopping to do  And don’t think I didn’t think of shopping for you!

My thoughts are with my babies back home. The mommy guilt is at an all time high. I await the words again that Rachel said to me yesterday so sweetly and innocently, “Mommy I need you to come home so you can hold and snuggle me.” They echo in my mind as I close my eyes and wish all them blessings and quick safe returns to my arms. It will be Friday evening before we all know it.

This song is one I heard the other day on the radio – no video online yet. I dedicate it to my sweet baby girl at home, her 3 brothers and their brave daddy taking care of all of them while I’m away.

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