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reSLience… a.k.a. resilience

it's what lies within that really matters

Monthly Archives: August 2008

Sometimes one of the best receipes to getting things back on track is to make a conscious effort to really sort through the clutter.  When I’m in a hurry, I look at the clutter, restack it, and move it around.  I might recycle a few things – but ultimately it earns a prize spot in some esteemed clutter pile.  Yesterday, on many levels, the clutter deserved some intensive time and attention. 

I have seen them in homes on the news where there were fires, or animals mistreated, that showed extensive piles – sometimes to the ceiling – of newspapers and other items.  Little pathways to walk had to be generated to move from place to place.  Let me reassure you that was far from the case with my house.  🙂  However, there were bills that needed attention and more importantly oodles of items that needed to be shredded.

So… as many long journeys begin with one step, I began. Sorting, shredding, recycling.  I have to tell you the kids were as excited about the shredder as if it was christmas.  In fact, Rachel decided it was the most fun she had in a long time! (should I worry about that?)  Some other kinds of clutter were sorted in the process as well.    D and I discussed Second Life and blogs and relationships and all the things that can accumulate as undiscussed clutter for weeks on end.  One of the things that has really worn on him are the questions he faces when asked about Crighton and I.  For some reason, it is like a horrible car accident or train wreck that people can’t look away from. People can’t help themselves but question and discuss over and over.

Why include this in the clutter topic?  Well because when all you are doing is asking for your own self-interests, it is like indulging yourself in giving time to reading the junk mail.  Take the time to think about why you might be asking, why you care.  If it is out of friendship or concern because something is wrong, then that is not what I’m describing here.  It is the random questions from mere acquaintances that wear on you.  Those are the questions that pile up and build up and cause frustration.

All I can think about are metaphors at this point. I’m restraining. I’m not talking about glass houses and rocks. I’m not talking about skeletons and closets.  I’ll just stay focused on the idea of clutter.  Different people think different things are clutter.  What is valuable to some and near and dear to their heart, is simply rubbish to someone else. Or simply disposable… not worth saving.  Before making quick judgements, take the time to think about the other angles of your questions and conversation.

1 metaphor... elephant = clutter

1 metaphor... elephant = clutter

I read a fantastic blog entry the other day that Joonie had shared.  It was specifically addressing the “Hot Button” of SL relationships.  Cindy Kessey rights about SL relationships as well – quite articulately.  My blog began because of needing to finally speak up.  I suppose this entry makes things come full circle.

Often I am criticized for being to cheery.  Looking to find the good, looking to find the bright side rubs people the wrong way.  I would assume this entry might rub people the wrong way too.  I was told last night that removing people from friends lists last night is simply “childish”.  SL makes for challenging human interactions and really isn’t for the faint of heart.  Yanis made a profound comment in D’s blog earlier in the week about it taking a strong person to live in SL.  I loved that thought.  I took it to heart.  It does take someone who is willing to expose themselves to others, and learn things about themselves that they might not have wanted to know. It can be scary.  It can be heartbreaking.  It can be heartwarming.  It can be one of the most rewarding personal discovery journeys you have ever been on.

So… as I return to cleaning up the clutter… I will only shred the things I really don’t want.  I will only put away the prims on my SL spaces that are really no longer necessary.  I might even sort through my list of friends and contacts for those I haven’t heard from in a while or I know they really don’t care to hear from me… after all… doesn’t that just become clutter too?  The one request I would ask – is for you to not treat those around you like clutter.  If you do consider someone a friend, take the time to say hello.  Ask them how they are doing. Take the time to do something fun together or join them at some social gathering.  Laugh and share stories and confirm to that person they really aren’t clutter in your SLife. 

Cleaning house isn’t fun.  Sorting clutter can be tedious.  I’m hopeful though that the end result is all worth it.  Thank you to those who are profound essentials in my SLife – you know who you are – and you know how much I appreciate you, your kind words, your hugs, and your fabulous shopping expertise 🙂

Cheers to a day and a half left of this much needed long weekend! And, cheers to things finding their way to you that you need but didn’t ask for… look what arrived in my blogcatalog network today… Postive Thinking a blog from this fantastic woman in India. Think she saw me taking pictures in that SIM last night with the elephants? 🙂

Clutter Metaphor of Elephant... Conquered?

Clutter Metaphor of Elephant... Conquered?

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do it with your heart wide open…
even if your hands are shaking…
say what you need to say…
say what you mean to say…

 

The pressure sometimes is overwhelming.  Life is so incredibly short.  Families love and support each other.  Our little group of friends is like a family.  Please… if you have something to say… just say it.  Life is too hard to play games and not really say what is on your mind.  If you are upset about something… speak your mind.  Have confidence in the fact that none of us are mind readers.  Subtleties are lost in SL in a haze of over gesturing, text, and silliness. 

If RL is hard and interfering in what you are doing in SL, then just say it.  Speak up.  Take a break.  Say what you need to say.  If someone has hurt you in SL, speak up, say it.  Give someone else the chance to say they are sorry.  And… when they do say sorry… LISTEN with your arms wide open… LISTEN with your heart wide open.

Don’t leave things left unsaid.  Life is short.  You never know when you won’t get that second chance.

… ok… off to work… off the soap box…  I care about you all so much.  Happy Thursday… Happy almost long holiday weekend…  Cheers to laughter and friendship and love and good times that are ahead for all of us.

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I think one of the hardest jobs in SL is that of hostess. You must be engaging and peppy and welcoming and happy for a good 2 + hours, depending on the event. You must coordinate the announcements ahead of the event and throughout. You must meet and greet and remind people to give. In some ways it is like running a pledge drive.

I would hate to think I had overstayed my welcome at this career called SL hostess. It is fun. I have tried to make it fun. I have tried to be creative and enjoy ways to entice the random SL passers-by to consider engaging in the events I host. I have tried to add unique spins on an evening at a club – offer a theme – and promote people’s sense of creativity as well as their sense of greed in terms of winning lindens. (insert laugh here)

I have loved every minute of the challenge, of the chaos, of the craziness. But… I don’t want to stay until I hate it. I don’t want to be the last to leave the party, so to speak. I’m ready to just attend the party and enjoy it.

I am very much invested in what we are doing with the Bistro Olive. I’m really excited about it. The art Cataplexia Numbers has brought in is incredible, Visual Poetry. It is very very different from Misprint Thursday’s Olive Art! And yet, also very compelling. It is so cool that the artists can construct such beautiful things throughout the Bistro and be so unique in and of themselves.

So… on that note… I hope to see you all on the dance floor. I hope to see you at clubs and hoo it up! (and offer fun quotable things for Mikki to record when I’m not looking).

Cheers to a busy week for the Bistro Olive and for Blissful Productions! That honey of mine… can she ever work it 🙂 woot!

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The past few days I have been thinking about Autumn. Back to school kind of makes me feel that way – but since we live in AZ – that can’t really be it. We start school at 110 degrees as the high most days – that makes it definitely feel like Summer. But I am BEYOND ready for cooler evenings. I hate to wish the days away but it seems by mid September it finally starts to cool off at night. It means we don’t have to all be on top of each other in the house. It means the kids can play outside and not come in smelling them before you ever see them. It means fixing up the flower beds and enjoying our yard again.

I miss Flagstaff for a lot of the traditional season reasons. The chill that starts to come in the air. The leaves turning. The days getting shorter. The promise of snow days right around the corner – LOL. But… here I sit, in our desert home, with the air conditioning clicking on, and the promise of another day of 105 degrees.

For now I suppose I’ll take solace in the beautiful places I can find on SL that hold tastes of Autumn. We found one yesterday. I’ll look for more today. I must remind myself that in no time at all we will be taunting the rest of you with our 80 degree winter temperatures and that this is the equivalent of the midwest long winters.

I’m off… to go find some leaf piles to jump in and some big autumn trees to lay under… at least in Second Life.

Dreaming about fall

Dreaming about fall

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So… I had heard from several sources… in RL and SL that I should explore WordPress.  I had some with Jenda in my adventures with Starbrooks Coffeehouse… but Blogger is easy and intuitive.  I’m bored though.  When I get bored in cyberspace, it must be time to move.  Tortuga Isle and the Bistro Olive were both born out of the boredom.  And… maybe… just maybe… boredom is the wrong word.  Maybe it is a creative itch that must be taken care of?

Either way… here I am.  Please be patient with me as I move in.  Cheers to Saturday a.m. couch creativity! Woot!

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“Good friends are good for your health.” ~ Irwin Sarason

Very ready for Friday. Thank you for hanging with me this week… I promise… I’ll return to the regularily scheduled cheerful half-full Kimala starting…

NOW! 🙂

WOOT!

So… here… in the recesses of my email… I found this little gem I had to share with all of you today. If it isn’t positive, then I don’t know what is 🙂 Hopefully it will help you all see that eventually I do dig myself out of my dark place and the trampolene and encouragement from everyone was really really appreciated.

See what you think:

Speaker and author, Jim Cathcart, says that to be at your best, find your zone of optimum velocity by observing the pace and intensity at which you perform best. This is the zone at which you are most creative, unstressed, happy and productive.

Above the zone: First you experience stress and frustration, then anxiety, and finally burnout. At this level you are overwhelming yourself with too much to accomplish at one time. Lighten up a bit to get back on track.

In the zone: You are at your best. Not stressed, going with the flow of work naturally, productive and self-assured, challenged but not overwhelmed, motivated and able to roll with problems.

Below the zone:
First you experience boredom, then apathy, and finally depression. You feel useless and artificial; self-esteem suffers. Bite off more and take on a greater challenge to get back on track.

For me the key to managing my energy is exercise. It almost sounds too simple to be important, however, without exercise my energy levels and my attitude “take a hit.”

Lastly, protecting and replenishing your emotional energy is critical for every leader. Mira Kirshenbaum, in her book The Emotional Energy Factor, offers a refreshing, down-to-earth approach:

“First, you plug the leaks: learn to recognize what drains your energy – life situations, toxic people, or habits such as worry, indecision or guilt. Second, you identify what fills your tank – pleasure, prayer, anticipation, or fun – and give yourself more.”

~ Mac Anderson, Manage Your Energy

And if you have time… enjoy this little clip he offers on the Simple Truths website… (click here… it is worth the time!)