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reSLience… a.k.a. resilience

it's what lies within that really matters

My week started off Sunday evening with a call from a really old friend. No, the friend himself isn’t really old, we both are just older and we got to be friends years ago… college, cough, cough. Anyway… I had a dream a few years ago that he had died and at the time went on a Google rampage trying to find him and was unsuccessful.

Facebook reunited us last week. Sunday night we talked for an hour. It was an incredible reminder that some people come into your life and are meant to always be a part of it – despite what time and distance might separate us. We hadn’t talked since we’d met for pizza and beer one night and I had introduced him to my finance. I think we might have shared happy hours a few times after that and he grew to enjoy Dave and his crazy sense of humor – and then, he just kinda disappeared.

Life happened in-between. Dave and I were busy teaching and having babies and trying to pay mortgages and considering all the other opportunities involved with being a married couple with young children. Fast forward 14 years… and a silly search on Facebook found him.

I think what struck me most about my lengthy emails with him prior to our call is how we may change and grow and age but what is in our spirits remains strong. What remains in our hearts is there forever. Barnaby was a friend I could count on to laugh with until I cried, to share incredible dreams with, to keep me humble and fix my writing errors in college papers, to let me cry on his shoulder when life didn’t go as I wished it had. He let me ride on the back of his Harley… yes, stupidly without a helmet… up beautiful mountain roads. He shared his amazing talents in writing with me and eventually his stories of resilience with my students as a guest speaker in my first years as a new teacher.

After that… life pulled us separate directions. Not intentionally. His life is stuff movies are made of – seriously. But those are his stories to tell, not me.

Sunday night to hear him say “Hey How you doin'” on the other end of the receiver, in a thick New York accent, it was like those years and that distance dissolved. We laughed. He told me incredible stories of his crazy life and his journey to where he is now. He made my life seem like all-American apple pie as he complimented me on my marriage and four kids. He told me he had read every word of Dave’s blog since we had reconnected through Facebook… and said I’d found a great guy. We talked about his loves and I shared what an incredible catch he’d be – I still think so – even though his heart at this point only belongs to his cat, Matilda.

So… would Barnaby have EVER associated this song with our conversations. ummmm NO. In fact, he might cough so hard he throws up if and when he does read this. He was one to have toured with the Dead and had impeccable music taste… but somehow… I honestly doubt Kenny Chesney ever made his cut. That’s ok though… this song connects with me… and my experience… and took me back…

I Go Back

I Go Back


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