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reSLience… a.k.a. resilience

it's what lies within that really matters

Monthly Archives: February 2009

Thank you Joel Osteen for finding my inbox today. Today was a crazy back to work day and I just love this message I found. What a gem of a thought! I think it applies to just about everything touching my path these days in first and second.

Not every battle is worth fighting. Many of the challenges that come our way are simply distractions trying to lure us from our destiny. When we have opportunities to get upset, maybe somebody is talking about us, or a competitor at work is spreading rumors, or our spouse says something that they shouldn’t have, we ought to stop and ask ourselves, “If I engage in this battle and spend my time and energy trying to straighten somebody out, defending myself, arguing with a family member, trying to prove that I’m right, even if I win this battle what is the prize going to be? What is this fight going to accomplish?”

You see, there are a lot of battles that come across our lives each day, but they simply aren’t worth the fight. The end result is strife and disharmony.

Proverbs 20:3 says, “Avoiding a fight is mark of honor.” If you want to honor God and enjoy your life, decide to be a peacemaker. Be the kind of person that will avoid an unnecessary fight.

If you’ll be disciplined to fight the battles that do matter, and take the focus off of those that are less important, not only will your relationships be better and your home full of peace, but God will bless you because where there is peace and unity, God commands a blessing.

~Joel Osteen

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You’re frozen… when your heart’s not open

At a birthday party for Joaquin Gustav today, another live performer sang this… Katia Keres. She performs in English, Portuguese, Spanish, Italian and French. Just incredible voice. Beautiful accent.

A live show in SL is what the soul needs sometimes. Take time to soak one up!

Feliz Cumpleanos Joaquin!

Feliz Cumpleanos Joaquin!

Sensitive, spontaneous, realistic: Katia Keres uses the power in her voice to channel emotions…

“A song has to mean something,” she professes. “Not just the lyrics; I have to be able to feel the music as well. And her dedication to her craft is undeniable.”I devote myself entirely to the song. That is all I can think about: how to make it sound better, and to make sure that whoever hears it understands that when I sang that song I truly sang it in the best way I possibly could.”

~ Katia Keres

In the never-ending dilemma of keeping or deleting people from the SL friends list, I found this quote a perfect fit.

Regina: We do not have a clique problem at this school.
Gretchen: But you do have to watch out for “frenemies”.
Regina: What are “frenemies”?
Gretchen: Frenemies are enemies who act like friends. We call them “frenemies”.
Karen: Or “enemends”.
Gretchen: Or friends who secretly hate you, we call them “fraitors”.
Regina: [rolls eyes] That is so gay.
Karen: [gasps] What if we called them “mean-em-aitors”?
Regina: [scoffs]
Gretchen: No, honey, it has to have the word “friend” in it.
Karen: Oh…
~ Mean Girls, 2004

Why keep people on your list if you don’t really like them? To avoid drama? Because someday they may come back and be your friend again? Because you don’t believe in un-friending but you do believe in ignoring? What qualities should be in a friend who made the list? How do you figure out who not to put on your list? The whole list thing… I’m sure it will be a sociology study of the next few decades.

There are horrible things all around us that make life too short to deal with the silliness of who said what to whom when. Bigger issues like marital separations, cancer, job cuts, financial losses, illness in children, aging parents…. aren’t these the issues we should be focused on? When does it become less about petty grievances and bigger issues to care about and support each other on. I found Second Life at a point in my own first life when I was at an all time low for creativity and sadness with regard to a hostile takeover in my career. I found friends. I found laughter. I found people I genuinely care about. I found creativity. I didn’t realize this Second Life would also contain all those dark elements of first that just suck the life out of you.

I’ve always been one to believe in asking for what you need. If I am on your list, and I am not giving you what you need. Then either speak up, and ask for it, or simply consider moving on. Delete me. I know that sounds silly and bold at the same time but honestly… life is too short. I’m still in Second Life for all those same things I wandered in and found almost two years ago. But I have added to my list – business ventures and event planning and publicity. I love those things. It allows me to be something in Second that I do some in first and it allows a fun interchange between the two.

Decide whether you want a list of friends, or a list of frenemies. Simple question. Either you’re on one side of the fence, or the other. Pick one. Make something positive and joyful and exciting of your Second Life. Why would you spend time and energy doing anything else with an imaginary world ruled by real hearts and minds?

Ok… today I was bombarded with 2 gems as I opened my office and my email. The first I’ll share with you is a little longer – from Brian Tracy, “The Power of Discipline”:

“…Of all the one thousand success principles that you have discovered, which do you think is the most important?”
He smiled at me with a twinkle in his eye, as if he had been asked this question many times, and replied, without hesitating, “The most important success principle of all was stated by Thomas Huxley many years ago. He said, ‘Do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not.’” He went on to say, “There are 999 other success principles that I have found in my reading and experience, but without self-discipline, none of them work.”

Self-discipline is the key to personal greatness. It is the magic quality that opens all doors for you, and makes everything else possible. With self-discipline, the average person can rise as far and as fast as his talents and intelligence can take him. But without self-discipline, a person with every blessing of background, education and opportunity will seldom rise above mediocrity.”

I just love the site that promotes the books and DVDs. Someday I will just buy up the whole lot of them!! But for now I just soak up the great info from the email teases.

Then… the little desk calendar from my mom for today says,

“It isn’t where you came from; it’s where you’re going that counts.” ~ Ella Fitzgerald

Wow. Kinda nice to find 2 such nicely aligned nuggets huh? Guess that is the universe’s way of telling me to MOVE IT MOVE IT with all I have planned and all I want to do. Anyone willing to join me along the way?

Happy Thursday everyone 🙂

berries
I’ve thought alot about this post over the past few days. Originally I thought I would write something like this on Valentines… but… the day got carried away with all the events at the Bistro and the RL hugs and kisses of the holiday that I didn’t find my way here until now. I suppose it is cliche anyway and this is more that just a one time holiday feeling.

Who do you hold in your heart? I remember crying and crying one summer after a camp experience that I had dearly loved, 8th grade I think it was, and missing those newfound friends so much my heart ached. My dad held me and told me that even though people leave our lives we never escape the things they put in our hearts. I love my Dad. Is that the right thing to say, or what? So true.

Another time, in college, the boy who had captured my heart for 3 years in big and small ways, ended our romance. It was the most difficult summer I ever spent at home and my last. I hardly ate after that. I just couldn’t. I wanted to just sleep – but I couldn’t. Thank God for summer jobs because it gave me a purpose and a distraction. I had given him everything – every piece of me – and at that young age, I had myself romantically believing that giving those pieces of yourself meant forever. Again, I remember my dad saying something about how things happen for a reason. God has other plans. My broken heart felt like it would never mend.

Another I held closely in my heart was a good friend. He and I were almost inseparable in college – both away from home for the first time. He expected me to jump ship after that heartache and fall into his arms. I just couldn’t do it. I broke his heart in the process. I lost one of my closest friends, and my partner in crime for late night silliness that only college can bring.

There was a string of unattainable challenges. Those seemed to remedy my heart ache and yet cause more on some level. The cute boy who rode mountain bikes and worked as a ski instructor. The older guy who made me laugh till I would shoot soda out of my nose and humiliate me with loud noises and hilarious comments on the sidewalk outside my college office job. There was the small town, very athletic guy who taught with me as a new teacher but was more in love with an old girlfriend then he ever would be with me. There was the guy who was the basketball coach who loved basketball and his new truck more than settling down.

And then, there was Dave. By the time he had snuck into my life, my heart was full. Not jaded. But definitely wiser. My pollyanna romantic side though longed for fantasy. Long walks after our school day through the forest near where we lived. Beautiful notes sent to me secretly in school as if we were students not the teachers. A few matchmaker team teaching partners who helped spin me into a frenzy and a very special New Year’s Eve trip to Santa Barbara and Disneyland. A wish at the Sleeping Beauty Castle wishing well and here I am still feeling a rush of romantic feelings as I bring it all back in my memory. Those brown eyes I fell in love with over a hamburger one night at a local restaurant after a walk. Still the same eyes. I checked. I looked deeply into them the other night just to make sure 🙂

There are others I have fallen in love with. Each one of my babies. Of course I have to remind myself of that as they turn into mouthy, surly teens. The many friends and colleagues I have known in first and second lives. Think about those you have let into your heart and those you might have shut out… maybe reconsider. Why wouldn’t you want both lives to be as full as possible with all things that are so good and so warming for your soul!

Life is short. I am reminded of that every day. Tell those you love, that you love them. Why hold back? Why save on words? The more you make yourself vulnerable to someone, hopefully, that vulnerability will be reflected and returned ten fold.

And keep those who have touched your heart close and tucked away. Rainy days do happen. After the heartache ends, focus on the warmth that love brought. Then, if fate allows them to wander through your life again, your heart will be that much more open to loving them all over again.

Matters of the heart seem to get so complicated. And yet, they should be so simple. Start by saying yes. Start with 3 simple words. Don’t let the moment slip away.

Laughing Buddha: Even offering three hundred bowls of food three times a day does not match the spiritual merit gained in one moment of love.

Some days… even after vacuuming… Maybe this bear lives at my house?

just aren’t fun. Being told people saw enough of me yesterday and that’s why they aren’t answering my invitations to Parker’s party? It is hard trying to rally people. So.. why try?

Humor as sarcasm is lost on me when I am tired. My patience… zapped. People who carry endless grudges but expect you to be around them? People who don’t know how to forgive? People who IM me and ask if so-and-so will be there because maybe they shouldn’t come by as a result?

I don’t want my SLife to be that way. Life is short. First and Second. Mikki reminded me today there was an off button and by God, yes 🙂 That smart winged snogger 🙂 sometimes OFF is just what the doctor ordered.

Sometimes supporting something means staying away. I hope those I love understand that.