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reSLience… a.k.a. resilience

it's what lies within that really matters

In the never-ending dilemma of keeping or deleting people from the SL friends list, I found this quote a perfect fit.

Regina: We do not have a clique problem at this school.
Gretchen: But you do have to watch out for “frenemies”.
Regina: What are “frenemies”?
Gretchen: Frenemies are enemies who act like friends. We call them “frenemies”.
Karen: Or “enemends”.
Gretchen: Or friends who secretly hate you, we call them “fraitors”.
Regina: [rolls eyes] That is so gay.
Karen: [gasps] What if we called them “mean-em-aitors”?
Regina: [scoffs]
Gretchen: No, honey, it has to have the word “friend” in it.
Karen: Oh…
~ Mean Girls, 2004

Why keep people on your list if you don’t really like them? To avoid drama? Because someday they may come back and be your friend again? Because you don’t believe in un-friending but you do believe in ignoring? What qualities should be in a friend who made the list? How do you figure out who not to put on your list? The whole list thing… I’m sure it will be a sociology study of the next few decades.

There are horrible things all around us that make life too short to deal with the silliness of who said what to whom when. Bigger issues like marital separations, cancer, job cuts, financial losses, illness in children, aging parents…. aren’t these the issues we should be focused on? When does it become less about petty grievances and bigger issues to care about and support each other on. I found Second Life at a point in my own first life when I was at an all time low for creativity and sadness with regard to a hostile takeover in my career. I found friends. I found laughter. I found people I genuinely care about. I found creativity. I didn’t realize this Second Life would also contain all those dark elements of first that just suck the life out of you.

I’ve always been one to believe in asking for what you need. If I am on your list, and I am not giving you what you need. Then either speak up, and ask for it, or simply consider moving on. Delete me. I know that sounds silly and bold at the same time but honestly… life is too short. I’m still in Second Life for all those same things I wandered in and found almost two years ago. But I have added to my list – business ventures and event planning and publicity. I love those things. It allows me to be something in Second that I do some in first and it allows a fun interchange between the two.

Decide whether you want a list of friends, or a list of frenemies. Simple question. Either you’re on one side of the fence, or the other. Pick one. Make something positive and joyful and exciting of your Second Life. Why would you spend time and energy doing anything else with an imaginary world ruled by real hearts and minds?


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