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reSLience… a.k.a. resilience

it's what lies within that really matters

so it is an interesting space to be in… in a head filled with thoughts of… don’t have expectations because they  are not worth having… don’t further conversations – just walk away and ignore – realize some things aren’t worth discussing or worth resolving… and then I take time to read some basic tenets that some of my closest friends abide by:

The 12 Steps


  • Step 1 – We admitted we were powerless over our addiction – that our lives had become unmanageable
  • Step 2 – Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity
  • Step 3 – Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God
  • Step 4 – Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
  • Step 5 – Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs
  • Step 6 – Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character
  • Step 7 – Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings
  • Step 8 – Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all
  • Step 9 – Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others
  • Step 10 – Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it
  • Step 11 – Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out
  • Step 12 – Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs

 This version of the 12 steps is an adaptation from the original 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and is intended for general use with any addictive or dysfunctional behavior.

I have never claimed to be perfect and have all the answers.  In fact.. through my blog and through my actions I try to continually show how I am always working so hard to remedy my shortcomings and I how I know I can’t do it on my own.  I love how the 12 steps puts God at the center – where he should be.  What I think is important for me to internalize is that the 12 steps are interpreted in a variety of ways – and not everyone lives them in the same way.  Sure they are a process – but they also align very closely to something that the whole Christian religion is based on.  I’m not in AA and don’t claim to know that process – but I have done my fair share of work studying the Bible and growing my faith and they seem to share considerable overlap.

When you use tenets as a means to throw stones, wars are fought. Terrorism is waged.  Nations go against nations.  It has been that way since the beginning of time.  When you enforce one set of ideals on one person or group, and then “water it down” for another it causes question.

Tolerance can lead to better understanding of one another and ultimately renewed and stronger friendship.  Much can be gained at working through things, rather than cutting them off.  If you are a stone thrower, don’t sit in a glass house and hope for a crack/break free life.  If you desire to bring peace, then work to mediate, not simply pacify.  Change isn’t easy. Relationships are not well mapped.  Compromise, forgiveness, and conversation brings understanding.  

My thoughts… as “trite” as they are…  are mine.  Despite the fact I’m not in AA I’m still going to do my best to understand the 12 steps and still keep working on myself.  That’s who I am.  I know I will never meet everyone’s expectations for me – but I will probably die trying.  And… at the end of the day… and even in the middle of the day… and even in the beginning of the day… I pray for God’s help to find the right words to say and the right actions to take.  

So… as rewarding as it feels sometimes to think do unto others… and an eye for an eye… sometimes it is good to just let it all percalate too… 

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