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reSLience… a.k.a. resilience

it's what lies within that really matters

I’m not sure what it was that woke me up at 4:31 am this a.m.  The room was still the same.  The air conditioner was still on and off at usual intervals.  The sounds of happy sleep and intermittent snoring was still filling the air.

Something told me in my half away thoughts to pray and be thankful.  And I did.  The last few weeks have been incredibly intense and exciting and exhausting.  I have become reacquainted with old friends I haven’t spoken to in literally years and it is like yesterday conversing on email.  I have watched my 4 children struggle over the anxieties of back to school and independence that comes with 2 youngers feeling their way at a school without a big brother and 1 middle older finding his footing in middle school with a biggest brother that nudges him but doesn’t shelter him.  It is surviving the first round of back to school colds and living to tell about it.  It is the archeological dig of 6 people’s closets and finding wonderful treasures to donate to those who need it most and feeling the huge sense of relief that comes with finding the flow of “things” again.

It is the challenge that comes with learning a new job that is closely intertwined with the old and yet just enough new to get excited and energized.  It is feeling new sense of empowerment to grow and change and connect in new ways.  It is overcoming worry that colleagues will look and feel differently and trusting that in faith all things are possible.

If there is one thing life has taught me this far, it is have faith and expect the unexpected.  Be true to your heart, be honest with yourself, accept your faults even if it is with much internal kicking and screaming.  Share with those you love just how much you love them.  Help them dream along with you and find joy in their ideas and dreams.  Shine.

When someone goes missing, ask and search.  I am so thankful I searched for those who went missing from my life.  And, I am thankful for those who searched for me and found me again.  It feels good to be missed and be reminded I am someone’s friend.  Friendship doesn’t need to come from a utilitarian point of view as some have taught me.  Friendship can just be.  It is the laughing so hard your sides hurt and crying together through really hard times.  It is wearing no makeup to the movies and sobbing through a sad movie and dressing up to to the hilt and dancing the night away.  It is just sitting quietly together and knowing that as life changes us, we are still who we were before tidal waves of change.

So… this 4:31 am wake up call and early Sunday a.m. serenity is now 5:28.  The day will begin all too soon as the sun will creep over the horizon and remind me of how hot August in Phoenix really is.  My small friends will play with voices meant much more for outside than in.  The clutter will explode and the fridge will be left open.  But… it is in this moment, with the quiet hum of the fan and the relief of the dark twighlight morning sky… that I am reminded of the  incredible joy and abundance that fills my life.




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