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reSLience… a.k.a. resilience

it's what lies within that really matters

Monthly Archives: November 2009

3 years with the NYC Girl named Blissie!

People who wander into our lives are sometimes only there for a short while. Little did I know 3 summers ago, Blissie was not to be one of them. She was there for the long haul.

We met at Rob’s and One World. We just happened upon each other and enjoyed showcasing our inventories of noob-ness on the dance floor. We got good at changing during DJ gigs. We offered everyone gifts from our noobish inventory whether they wanted it or not… drinks, slippers, snacks… and then… Blissie’s trademark cupcakes and love of them made their debut.

She went on vacation for a week that summer in her first life and I missed her like crazy. She had become my partner in crime. How could I do dance floor changes and run amuck without her? When she returned, I pounced her and vowed to never let her go. This NYC girl works like I do. She multitasks and bakes and cleans (like I wish I did). And she is competitive like no one I know except for my husband.

In the photo slide show you’ll see a picture of bullriding. She and Bigd spent many hours at the bull pen next door to One World. I would wake up to find Bigd had been trying to beat Blissie’s score for at least an hour before the rest of us stirred! I’m not sure who won but the competition didn’t stop there.

There were wardrobe challenges. The poor girl once wore a whole folder… her ENTIRE inventory… at once at Robs! I laughed until I cried. We pillow fought and wore spankers. Any new gadget seemed to find its way to us and Spanksgiving was born.

We built at Burning Life. Well… Borday built and we watched. Then we rebuilt while Borday swore. (Problems with land rights in BL). We wandered. We went on Sunday field trips. Blissie always warned people she was armed and warned me she didn’t make friends with just anyone. That was my job. She would rescue me from busrides across Burning Life and scary guys on dance floors.

We partnered to save each other from crazy gropey boys. Then I shamefully unpartnered because I was building my RL image for work in SL and didn’t want to confuse people… not that there’s anything wrong with that 🙂

We’ve had phases and eras. The gesture era. The attachment era. The food era (has that ended?). The club opening event DJ hostessing era. The blogging – profile advice giving era.

In the end it boils down to one thing: time tested friendship and love. She pounces me at work on gmail every once and a while. She includes me in her profile or blog and makes me smile. She dresses up with me and shops and eats and even has pot-roast-cooking-contests. But… no matter where our paths go, they always lead back to the thing that brought us together in the first place.

Her heart is huge. She is a fierce defender of things. She loves taking pictures of herself as much as I do 🙂 and she is an incredible ALT finder. She never hides. She just is.

Both lives make us remember what is important sometimes even when we don’t want to. Blissie’s RL is hard right now. While I know I can’t make things better, I can remind her how much I appreciate her in my life. First and Second… imaginary or not… my world is better for knowing Bliss. Cheers Gypsy Woman from NYC!


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*A brief introduction to this: I laid in bed this morning knowing this was my next blog.  I rolled it around 10 times over in my head and just knew it was what I would write about. Some things just feel that important.  I will do a series.  I am not sure in what order or how frequently because I cannot be disciplined with my blog like I should or wish I could.  But over the next few weeks, I will profile for you the imaginary friends who make up my SLife*. I realize they are not imaginary and so do they.  That is simply a term that a friend and colleague of mine coined one day.

Many have touched my life in the past 3+ years Second Life has wandered into my day to day existance.  Some become household names and are forced to say hello to all my Real Life household names. They are fiesty and crazy and fun.  They are people I might pass on the street in the real world and never know.  They are people who wandered into my Second Life and are important to me.  They are the friendships that make being a mom of 4 and a wife and a crazed working woman possible.

So… without further ado…  Here comes my series.

*Second Life and SL and any other reference I make are trademarks of Linden Research, Inc. This series, my blog, my life – as Kimala Kohime or any other Kim in-world are not affiliated with or sponsored by Linden Research.

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a bit late… but yesterday was so full of cleaning and eating and just general family time that I thought I would focus best today in a quiet moment on things I really love and appreciate…

in no particular order…

  • my 4 beautiful babies
  • my husband
  • my parents
  • my friends
  • my “imaginary” friends 🙂
  • my family
  • a home
  • snuggly blankets
  • sibling rivalry
  • bike riding on beautiful fall afternoons
  • yummy dinners with fancy dishes
  • hot showers with delicious smelling shower gel
  • a job i love most days
  • dreams and lots of potential
  • being read to by my kids
  • listening to my husband’s short stories
  • upcoming holidays
  • the promise of good leftovers today
  • time to shop for fun things on SL
  • ice skating later at the Bistro Olive
  • being reacquainted with those I love on FB
  • the possibility of 3 full days off still ahead of me
  • Fall & Winter weather in Phoenix
  • naps
  • soap operas on DVR
  • health
  • happiness
  • faith and all the supernatural things in abundance

I could go on and on.  The big and the small.  There are so many things I find myself grateful for on a daily basis.  I find I’m even grateful for the silly “alts” that wander through SL locations because they miss being near us (even though they can’t admit it with their own avatar in person).  *giggles*

Today I have a friend and her dad and the rest of her family prominently in my thoughts and prayers.  Yesterday’s Thanksgiving that she had baked up a storm for with oodles of cranberries in every shape and form with no idea her celebration would end up in the hospital waiting room.  My dear NYC Blissie is the one we all need to keep close in our thoughts and prayers — she and her dad.   I am so thankful for her friendship and wanted to make sure and share for those who know her too.

Life is short. Breathe in the crisp Fall air deeply -wherever you are.  Enjoy those turkey day leftovers.  And be kind to others on your Black Friday adventures.

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200 unread – Bloomin Plurk! – Kimala Kohime [kimala] on Plurk.

[19:29]  Kimala Kohime: d said i’m overloading the airwaves
[19:29]  Kimala Kohime: i put on my SL plurk hud
[19:29]  Blissie Boucher nods.
[19:29]  Blissie Boucher: I think he might be right.
[19:30]  Kimala Kohime: and plurked from savoy — and my plurk went to twitter and my twitter went to facebook
[19:30]  Kimala Kohime nods
[19:30]  Kimala Kohime: its like a daisychain extention cord scene

[19:30]  Kimala Kohime: overloaded

[19:30]  Blissie Boucher: Oh good lord
[19:30]  Blissie Boucher: LOL
[19:32]  bigd Flanagan: sensory overload

These are the things I find fascinating and challenging.  Why not link all these crazy new tools together and see what happens?

Come on… I double dog dare you!

P.S…. Dare I add… I simply posted this by clicking the “Press This” button from my Firefox bookmarks bar and… wa-la… a post.. was THERE!

There are just not enough hours in the day…  Phoenix WordCamp yesterday has my mind spinning about all the things I wish I could do with my blog… I wish I could do technically… and then… there is the writing piece.

My 11 year old son, Noah, is actively seeking to finish a novel at the end of National Novel Writing Month… his writing is incredible and it inspires me.  I wake up in the morning with fuzzy thoughts of phrases and paragraphs.  An hour later after a shower and a half a cup of coffee the moment is lost.

These days so much of my writing energy is channeled into grants and proposals.  I put my mind in the zone and just go.  A little start… a few paragraphs from someone else can ease the fear and pain of blank screen or empty white paper… and I”m off.

My blog though… it is so neglected.  I updated my look yesterday because it seems my days leave me feeling hanging like that.  What pieces of the photo you don’t see are the snuggly bunnies and lush tall grasses that are below to rescue me from my dangling position.  My real life is like that too.  When I take the time to savor the moments of bike rides to the park with my 6 year olds, laughs with my oldest now a teenager about the craziness of humanity, and pour over the creative juices of my 11 year old’s novel-to-be, I am reminded that those bunnies and lush grass are there for me in reality too.

Ultimately… I have decided the ultimate goal is to live in the moment of these treadmill paced life experiences.  When we choose to live from big event to big event, or for the short term celebration of Friday, or for the constant pressing feeling of achieve achieve, we lose what can be found in celebrating the big and the small of each moment.  Savor a muffin with extra butter.  Breathe deeply and appreciate the fall air.  Smile over an unexpected YouTube find showing a reunion between a dog and a soldier home from war.  Life is so short.  If I waste it looking down at my feet and worrying about my shoes on the treadmill, am I really enjoying all I should be?

Cheers to the moments that will find you smiling today.


How Can We Know How Far
The Long Way Can Be
Looking From Where We Are
It Never Seemed That Long To Me
I’ve Many Miles Behind Me
Maybe Not So Much Ahead
It Seems I Made Good Time
With The Directions I Misread

So I’m Gonna Spend My Time
Like It’s Going Out Of Style
I’m Moving The Bottom Line
Farther Then A Country Mile
I Still Have Hills To Climb
Before I Hit That Wall
No Matter How Much I Buy
I Could Never Spend It All

Funny Thing That Time
We’re Always Running Out
I’m Always Losing Mine
There’s Not Enough Of It About
And Though It’s Always Here
It Will Always Come And Go
The Days Become The Years
That’ll Be Gone Before You Know

So I’m Gonna Spend My Time
Like It’s Going Out Of Style
I’m Moving The Bottom Line
Better Then A Country Mile
I Still Have Hills To Climb
Before I Hit That Wall

I Won’t Go Quietly Into That Dark Night
There’ll Be No More Buring Daylight
I’ll Be Living In
Every Moment That I’m In
Oh I’m Gonna Spend My Time
Like It’s Going Out Of Style
I’ll Only Use What’s Mine
I’ve Been Saving For Awhile
I Still Have Hills To Climb
Before I Hit That Wall
No Matter How Much I Buy
I Could Never Spend It All

No Matter How Much Time We Buy
We Could Never Spend It All

~*~ clint black