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reSLience… a.k.a. resilience

it's what lies within that really matters

Category Archives: Alanis Morissette

That I would be good even if I did nothing
That I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
That I would be good if I got and stayed sick
That I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

That I would be fine even even if I went bankrupt
That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
That I would be great if I was no longer queen
That I would be grand if I was not all knowing

That I would be loved even when I numb myself
That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
That I would be loved even when I was fuming
That I would be good even if I was clingy

That I would be good even if I lost sanity
That I would be good
Whether with or without you

Some Mondays are harder than others. Today is hard. I needed to post this so I could get it out of my system and start picturing bigger and better things. It is hard to not feel like you measure up. It is hard to feel like you chose a path in the road that was harder than everyone elses… and now there is no turning back.

Half full suggestions anyone?

“Hand In My Pocket” by Alanis Morissette

I’m broke but I’m happy
I’m poor but I’m kind
I’m short but I’m healthy, yeah
I’m high but I’m grounded
I’m sane but I’m overwhelmed
I’m lost but I’m hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything’s gonna be fine fine fine
’cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five
I feel drunk but I’m sober
I’m young and I’m underpaid
I’m tired but I’m working, yeah
I care but I’m restless
I’m here but I’m really gone
I’m wrong and I’m sorry baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything’s gonna be quite alright
’cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And what it all comes down to
And what it all comes down to
Is that I haven’t got it all figured out just yet
’cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign
I’m free but I’m focused
I’m green but I’m wise
I’m hard but I’m friendly baby
I’m sad but I’m laughing
I’m brave but I’m chickenshit
I’m sick but I’m pretty baby

And what it all boils down to
Is that no one’s really got it figured out just yet
’cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
And what it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything’s just fine fine fine
’cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab

Disclaimer: Not to be confused with issues the ex-NJ governor is facing with 3-ways, or Dave Letterman’s inability to understand 3-way light bulbs.

SOOOOO much of the music I like is what I heard someone describe as music by “chick bands.” I guess it falls in the category of “chick flicks.” Yup, I like those too. The songs that give you goosebumps and make you remember firsts – first dances, first kisses, first whatevers related to love, love, love. Silly, romantic me… I will ALWAYS love those kinds of songs. But, those songs are related to firsts. That is a really important distinction. (cough cough – this coming from the girl who LOVES Disney’s Enchanted and she and her daughter sing about finding “true love’s kiss” in “That’s How You’ll Know” LOL)

The other night Rob Thomas introduced “I’ll Believe You When” as a tune dedicated to married people. Everyone laughed. And, I listened very very closely. Remember from posts way back, I’m a lyric person 🙂 And in the midst of my concert craziness, I vowed to go back and think more about that song as I blast it in the serenity of my RL commute car. How right he was!!

…could write up in the sky
Forgive me I apologize
Still if I went through every measure
With my promise to be better
You’d say
Whoa
I’ll believe you when

Don’t get me wrong – but anyone who is married knows how hard it is, and how rewarding it can be, and how amazingly life affirming and frightening it can be – all wrapped into one. It is WAY beyond the fall in love lyrics I croon over. I was so pleased to put pieces like this together (and please note again I am in the slow group for those of you who already figured this out – heehee).

So… in my new state of music listening mind… I have connected a couple songs to my RL married collection that really stand out. “Everything” by Alanis Morissette is also a perfect choice.

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it’s going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you’ve never met anyone
who is as negative as I am sometimes

I am the wisest woman you’ve ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you’ve connected.
I have the bravest heart that you’ve ever seen
And you’ve never met anyone
Who’s as positive as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I’m ashamed
There’s not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

There are so many other lyrics I didn’t include here – go back and read the whole song – or watch it on the YouTube link above. She is an amazing writer. Talk about insight into the human condition!

Then, just to round out the trio nicely, there is a perfect Sarah McLachlin song, “Push.” I love this song. It emulates everything I hope to be and everything I hope I am in marriage. Marriage is hard. This song really speaks to my heart and was one I shared with D not too long ago to show him how thankful I was to have him around 🙂

There are times I can’t decide, when I can’t tell up from down.
You make me feel less crazy, when otherwise I’d drown.
But you pick me up & brush me off, and tell me I’m OK.
Sometimes that’s just what we need to get us through the day.

Again – I didn’t do the full song justice – so read the whole thing. I bet you will see yourself in her words.

If you are still reading this post and stuck with me through the whole thing, thank you 🙂 I’d love for you to share songs with me that strike you and speak to you. And, to those of my friends who are married, cheers to you and how hard you work at that committment, day in and day out. It is a complicated thing, but so rewarding, and like nothing else in life. It is a secret bond and an amazingly hard job all wrapped into one. But if you can make it work, it gives back over and over.

One other note I can’t close without sharing is about a couple they had on NBC’s Today Show this week. The couple was celebrating their 83rd wedding anniversary! They got married with Calvin Coolidge was president. They have great-great grandchildren. I can’t even imagine the incredible change they have experienced in their lifetimes. There is definitely something to be said about having the resilience to stay with someone that long and have someone know you inside and out that well. I would think they probably don’t even have to talk anymore and just read each other’s thoughts. 83 years. WHEW!

WOW! I took the ultimate nite off from SL to indulge in RL live music. Bigd and I went to see Matchbox 20. Alanis Morisette warmed up (if she counts as a warm up – shouldn’t it be like a 2 headliner concert??) and another band warmed up for them all – from New Orleans. We never caught their name and once I find it I will edit this post to credit them – they were good too.

I felt like the scream/sing/dance therapy was worth EVERY penny. Yes, I may be too damn old to act like a silly teenage girl at a concert – but, damn, it was FUN! Hoo! We had seats. ROFL. We didn’t realize we had seats. We thought we were in the grassy area of the concert pavillion that was open seating – for the common man/cattle. However, when we got there and actually READ our computer home printed tickets we realized – WHOOO HOOO – we had seats! Kinda NOT that far away. Far enough away unforunately I don’t think Rob Thomas will remember my face but he’ll remember my Hoo – I’m sure of it! (kidding)

There is nothing like seeing music live. You feel the music all the way through your entire being. The bass, the drum reverberate through your body. The guitars and vocals fill your ears until you aren’t sure you can take any more. The lights and the crowd surround you. You become a part of something bigger than yourself. For just a few hours, you are void of all other cares in the world. You soak up every note, every ounce of atmosphere. (ok you people – I’m not talking about the funny smelling smoke in the air either)

Something about this concert was different though. Ok, maybe it is because I am old and married. I wasn’t yearning really to go home with Rob Thomas (hee hee) or because I wasn’t drunk or high like parts of the audience. Or, because at one point the friend who had come with us joked between the Matchbox 20 main show and encore to “just come on out already, I’m too old for this silliness, you know we want you to do a few more songs and we know you are coming back anyway” when we had screamed our faces and clapped our hands off. You know, what made it the MOST different, the MOST ever of any show I have ever attended was that the musicians were all so incredibly GRACIOUS.

They thanked each other and they thanked us. Not just the typical… and now here is so and so on drums but they thanked Matchbox 20 for the opportunity to play with them and tour with them – Alanis and the other band I can’t remember the name of. Matchbox 20 thanked us. Matchbox 20 thanked the newest members of their band – 3 new additional members – new drummer, new keyboards and guitar, and new rhythm guitar for touring with them for the first time. Rob Thomas said something along the lines of – we know there are a lot of ways you could have spent your time tonite and we know how valuable time is and this is time you can never get back, we thank you so much for spending it with us. How cool is that?? Both D and I were blown away by the attitude of gratitude. And yet, we had felt totally gracious we had a chance to be there in the first place (yea grandma for babysitting!!).

So… the concert high lingers into today. No… not a concert hangover… although I AM tired. God… I stayed up WAY past my SL bedtime. 🙂 But driving in, blasting my car stereo (which does sound excellent btw) to Matchbox 20’s Exile CD I relived the concert in the HOV lane and could have cared less about the traffic. I plan to do the same on the way home.

Tonite I look forward to logging into SL and enjoying music there. I thought about that too as I drove in today. Music is a compelling reason to log me into SL. Laugh, listen to good tunes, hang out with friends and forget RL worries for a little while. Kinda like a concert, but not as hard on your ears, not requiring a babysitter, and in the comfy clothes. Maybe Rob Thomas has a SL avitar…. LOL 😉

Final note: Pictures online – you can never see too many pictures of that cutie, right? Matchbox 20 and Alanis Morissette