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reSLience… a.k.a. resilience

it's what lies within that really matters

Category Archives: friends

I SHARE by Botgirl

I SHARE by Botgirl

Thank you Botgirl for your insight and analysis.  You give lots of food for thought.  Why do you log in?


Tonight’s the night! As seen from North America, the planets Venus and Jupiter – the two brightest points of light in all the heavens – will be in conjunction in your early evening sky. This pair of planets will shine rather low in the southwest, to the upper left of the thin waxing crescent moon.

Quiet arrived tonight at Blissie’s new apartment and shared the state of the RL moon and planets. It was too good to not tell everyone and run out and look. Rach and Simon were half dressed. We all were barefoot. We all stood on the sidewalk in front of our house oooooing and ahhhhing. I ran and got the phone to tell my parents to look and then D did the same. It has been a really challenging past few days for us in RL. We have not discussed it with people in SL – but nonetheless, SL has been difficult too.

The one thing that remains constant in life is change and challenge. D reminded me late last week that we face challenges to make us stronger for all the good things that lie ahead. I hold tightly to that. There are good things ahead.

I’ve had a headache almost all day as well. A stress hangover of sorts I think. Mikki sent me the sweetest message about why people come in and out of our lives – and that seemed to ease the headache and fit well with D’s thought about good things to come.

Then I get back to thinking about the moon, the planets and all the other things around us that are so incredibly beautiful and so much bigger than all of us. Sometimes we (we including me and starting with me) need to take a 30,000 foot view around us. Big pictures are a good thing. Wide angle lens and maybe swap lenses with another. Refocus. Get a telescope if you really want to see the details. But, just know if you take a telescope to see the details – someone else might be doing the same to you. Think anyone was standing on Venus or Jupiter tonight staring back at us thinking how beautiful we all looked? I’m kidding. I’m making a very poor metaphor through tired writing. Sorry.

Anyway. Change. Its constant. There are little snapshots of time we should collect when we come across beautiful moments. Tonight’s look at the sky was one of them. I look back over my week off from work and think there were many snapshots to tuck away. I am going to offer up all the other things that weren’t that good and pray for being better and trying harder next time. I’m only human with faults and feelings like everyone else, after all.

Life as we know it is so incredibly short. I hope you took the time to gaze at the incredible sky tonight. I hope you have snapshots you want to treasure from the recent past. Tomorrow is December 1. December is a month of hope and peace no matter what kind of God you believe in. Its our last chance to make 2008 what we want it to be before we sing Auld Lang Syne. 31 days.

There will most definitely be waxing and waning. I just hope that most of it is filled with holiday cheer and good things that we all wish for. The only people I know deserve all that and more.

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Gem in Burning Life

Gem in Burning Life

Today was an amazing day.. Mikki & LoVolt got married, the ceremony and reception were beautiful, the music was good as always – how can it not be – Cataplexia Numbers and Borday Moo, and then we had Sunday Blue Olive to polish off a brutally packed social day.  It was the best.  Good people.  Good Music.  No calorie super high prim food!  Hoooo!

But then… in the quiet of the end of my SL Day… I remembered I had been remiss in stopping in to see Cataplexia and Taliesin’s Burning Life sim.  I am soooooo glad I did!  Talk about a perfect end to a perfect day.  How can you not think it perfect when you can end it by meditating on a green egg?

In all seriousness, I share this beautiful quote from the equally beautiful Cataplexia, about their creation:

 I would lose myself in the colorful stories and images of Dr Seuss, and dreamed of living in a world like that, where everything was bright and pretty and filled with sing -song rhymes. These childhood memories have influences my art and poetry immensely, and sometimes even now I dream of that place, that beautiful magical care-free place.

There are good things in Second Life.  Take some time to find them.  Finding out who and where… makes it all worth it!


Good Night Sam I Am

Good Night Sam I Am

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I trained this afternoon at a charter school – teachers primarily in grades K-6. Because one of our programs is designed for parents and people taking care of children at home, A Place of Our Own, I always include a handout from that broadcast program, and website. There are great workshops I can do that go along with the show… most recently I have conducted them on the topics of storytelling and conflict resolution. I’m digressing a bit but I wanted to give you the background and share why the handout was on my mind. I think it applies to everyone really – not just small children, and not just people working with small children. See what you think:

  1. We think of every person is important in many diffent ways.
  2. We are kind to each other.
  3. We practice sharing together.
  4. When we like someone,  we let them know.
  5. We don’t act in ways that are hurtful to others just to get what we want.
  6. We don’t make fun of, hurt or dislike another person because of how they look.
  7. We work hard to do the best we can.
  8. We respect other people, and their feelings.
  9. We stand up for what we believe.
  10. We are responsible for upholding all the rules.
  11. Add your own:

~ KCET: A Place Of Our Own

I thought these were statements it never hurts to read over and over again – even if you aren’t working with little people. It seems these are just generally good guidelines to follow as a person of any age. I haven’t been “turning it over” enough recently. When I find myself getting worn down and running myself ragged mentally on the details, and not finding solutions despite all that extra energy expended, I know that’s my first step. My second step then is simply making sure I’m treating others how I would want to be treated. That list up above kinda covers all that.

I’m accused of being a pollyanna. Part of me takes great pride in that title. If you only knew what it takes to get out the door in the morning and not feel close to losing sanity, or to do the commute through Phoenix and not erupt into road rage, or work a long day with varied people who sometimes change their mind more often than not, you might be shocked that I am still pollyanna-ish at the end of the day.

I try really hard to get along, and to be a problem solver and solution finder. I always stress out when I can’t make all three of those happen. In that regard, I have to turn it over. Everyone will not always like me and that is ok. I will make mistakes and need to be forgiven for them, and that will be ok too. But at the end of the day… if you can remember that life is too short to not be kind, not consider the glass half full, not welcome people into your heart and really care about them, then maybe you should reconsider.

Now.. I am off to finish making spaghetti sauce since I’m actually home from work early enough to make dinner on a weeknight and maybe a whistle a happy working tune or something while I have the pigeons and the cockroaches help me clean up the house 🙂 (joke)


If you need a boost take a quick watch of this 🙂

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I have to share with you a quote from a friend’s response to my husband’s blog yesterday morning. She never ceases to amaze me in her generosity and her ability to express her appreciation of those around her.

For that reason, I thought this was much too beautiful to be buried only as a response to a blog post:

Bittersweet tears sting the eyes
rolling down my cheek I dip my head
kissing the still young rose in my hand
I gently take the petals and hold them
to be caught in the oceans breeze
carried with you as you fly
one last time.

~ Parker Janick

Parker is an amazing SL woman. She gives of her time freely to support the efforts of her friends. She gives of her Linden wallet until it must hurt to support the artistic, musical, and entreprenuerial efforts of those friends. She has a good sense of humor and a strong will. She maintains her G rated demeanor even when the rest of us sink to PG-13 and… um.. well 🙂

Parker as the SL front for the RL woman is also amazing. We joke about waving to her on CNN or TWC as she heads to her RL job where she works an overnight schedule. She is incredibly private but incredibly strong and brave… I’ll leave it at that.

Thank you for sharing such articulate words to touch our hearts Parker. Life is so incredibly short. You always remind me of how important it is to be kind, be loving, and appreciate each other. To do nothing less than that, makes me wonder why.

Capturing this Woman on Film

Capturing this Woman on Film

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So I have met this avatar in Plurk that I am glad to know. Argent Bury. She/He has offered some very articulate perspectives on the SL – RL experience in an amazing blog post… here is an excerpt:

Taking a Stand
Time to take a stand…

There has been a lot of back and forth on the internets lately about trust, voice, identity, morality, roleplay, and scores of other SL issues that have no answers. Rather than gnaw on them every day and face continuous existential crisis, I’m taking a stand here. This is my last post on “what I am”. From now on I’m posting about “what I am doing/thinking/feeling here”. You can consider this post to be the contents of my “First Life” tab…I will post a link to this entry there. I encourage you, for better or worse, to base all your decisions regarding me on this post.

~ Ardent Bury, SL resident

I thought this was a super interesting stand… I hope you’ll take the time to read the full post. Joonie had something similar recently in her poll and the results about how much RL do you share. I think it is something we all struggle with and I find it incredibly fascinating. From a psychology/sociology standpoint, those crazy scientists and doctors must just be itching to open up our heads and study us. (I speak really specifically of the “us” that is addicted to SL… wait… not me) *looks around nervously*

I have been an open book really. I remember being shocked with I learned D had told people I was a teacher… then I shocked him when I shared I worked for a PBS station. Then… it just unraveled from there I guess. We live in Arizona. We want to rant about the heat. Summers here are like winters other places. So… we find solace in the cool ocean waters of SL. I became even further fascinated by the people who so openly welcomed us into their SLives. I loved getting to know people… not their intimate details that would disclose identities but more the intimate details about what makes them tick. I loved learning about Blissie and her battles with RL work downsizing and her life in NYC as a beautiful girl with a hot boyfriend who works at a gym and her perpetual battle with her RL closet. I mean COME ON… I have 4 kids and a mortgage and a job and a husband and… my life couldn’t be more opposite and hers couldn’t be more exciting 🙂 (I hope Blissie doesn’t mind me sharing that.)

Anyway… the list of incredible people goes on and on that I have met in SL. They are warm. They care. They care about me, not just my avatar. I like that. It is good to have friends. Isn’t that one of the top preventatives for stress is to have friends? I won’t list them all and disclose things they wouldn’t want me to blog about. They know who they are. I bug them quite frequently inworld and recruit them for all sorts of SL adventures. I drag them into my RL world in conversations with my husband and kids. Blissie is the fabulous cupcake maker around our house that all of us love 🙂

So… I appreciate knowing Argent’s viewpoint. I totally am fascinated by the thought. I am the original naive avatar who always assumes the best and takes people at face value. You’ve given me a lot to think about Argent… and that isn’t a bad thing. Dave always cautions me that I am too trusting. You’ve put a good reminder of caution in my head as well.

Onward. Social networking at its finest. Plurk. Second Life. Blogging. Ning. Yes, Bliss, I did join Virtual Girls with Guns or whatever that was… HOOO! (even though I don’t know how to operate most of the guns in my virtual inventory – but don’t worry I’ll study up and try to look cool).

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Joonie and Crighton offered me a silly little internet gateway drug this week… PLURK!  Then, I felt the need to purpetuate the addiction and shared with D, Blissie and Parker.  Yes… I officially became a pusher when I tried to get Borday and Mikki to join Plurk as well when Borday is new to blogging and I don’t think Mikki blogs at all.

So… just what is the fascination?  It is like instant message on speed times 10,000.  It has the immediate satisfaction of someone reading and responding to your blog post… without the required depth of thinking.  It offers random new trivial thoughts and plenty of new perspectives to make you laugh right out loud! 

Just today… I have had child rearing techniques shared with me that could help also decorate my home (thank you RyanS) 🙂 paintball kid crowd control; and have also learned the origin of the word “asshat” (thank you anthonyclendenen).  I have seen plenty of asshats in SL.  It was a term I wasn’t familiar with until about six months ago and then… a 3D asshat arrived in SL only to be placed on someone who had stepped away from the keyboard.  (always a dangerous thing in second life, by the way).

So… asshats…  Here we go… here is the real scoop… the real down and dirty… 

a real live asshat

a real live asshat

A person, of either gender, whose behavior displays such ignorance/obnoxiousness that you would like to make them wear their own ass as a hat.

Oddly, I have come to know more and more of them in my life over the past year come to think of it…  personally and professionally.  Maybe the term crossed my path just in time?  I wonder if there are any asshat awards… like the 2008 Amazing Asshats… or 2008 Asshat of the Year?  Perhaps I should take nominations and run a contest… (whispers to Blissie… contest Blissie… Blissful Productions contest…woot!)

Asshat affliction can strike at any time in SL with friends like these!

Caution: Asshat affliction can strike at any time in SL with friends like these!

So… onward… hoping Bliss drives that bus of good friends, asshats, and other misfits (do we know any? hee hee) to Martini Monday at 2 pm.  And for those of you who have never tasted a martini in Second Life and simply wonder about it through your Plurk lense… I double dog dare you… no wait… I triple dog dare you… Hooo!  Happy Monday everyone!

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