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reSLience… a.k.a. resilience

it's what lies within that really matters

Category Archives: half-empty

Sometimes I get very caught up in the here and now… the never ending list of things to do and the piles of life that need my most urgent attention… and I forget to view the here and now as a stepping stone to what is next.

Lately… when I have had a morning to sleep in… I have forced myself to do so. I am so fortunate to have a husband who lets me and I roll over, cover my head and let the birds sing good morning to someone else. I have felt like the morning came too early and I felt like getting out of bed was just too much to expect. My house, my kids, my job, my RL and SL… it just all felt overwhelming. I felt empty and sad. Depressed from the news day in and day out about life going from bad to worse, depressed from news of my mom finding a new kind of cancer on her body, depressed from updates of my youngest’s teacher about school progress… I could go on…but then I would depress you!

My half full… had a leak I think. I’ve neglected my blog because I wasn’t feeling very resilient. My positivity had done nothing to save a friend’s marriage… to help some stay employed… to keep people cancer free… to help people understand that being a friend means more than just a token place in a profile… I have been reminded over and over that mean people come disguised and on soft tip toes into your life and if you aren’t careful… they will suck things from you – but ONLY as long as you let them have that power. The last few months I have made the mistake of giving some power they didn’t warrant or deserve.

I heard a message this a.m. Very loud. Very clear. I can wander in the desert for days, weeks, months, years. I can choose to ignore the flowers that bloom and the rains that turn the desert a brilliant green. OR I can open my eyes. I can see things for how they are. I can slip on my rose colored glasses that are dusty from storage and return to my view of the world that helps me add one or two more things to my plate and soak up all the good stuff life has to offer.

I choose that. I choose the glasses. I choose the cup that is half full. I choose to pick the flowers and carry them in my hand and smell their sweet smell for the moment. I have faith to know there will be more flowers and more to fill my cup.

Springtime at Cabeza Prieta by Catherine Sickafoose

Springtime at Cabeza Prieta by Catherine Sickafoose

My husband pretends to drink Hate-er-ade but I know that isn’t true and I thank him for sticking with me through this period of gray half-emptiness. Pulling the weeds so we can enjoy the flowers… cleaning the carpet so we can remember how much we appreciate having some to walk on. Enjoying a few days of vacation AFTER a furlough day because I have earned it, not because I was mandated to take it. Soaking up the springtime AZ sun in the most beautiful time of year in Phoenix. Deciding that sometimes when you aren’t sure where to start you just have to start somewhere. I’m starting today. I’m making a promise to return to my half-full self. It feels good to take the first few steps in that direction. Pour yourself a cup. Pick a few flowers. Choose something nice to say and feel free to join me. My life is too short for anything else.

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That I would be good even if I did nothing
That I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
That I would be good if I got and stayed sick
That I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

That I would be fine even even if I went bankrupt
That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
That I would be great if I was no longer queen
That I would be grand if I was not all knowing

That I would be loved even when I numb myself
That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
That I would be loved even when I was fuming
That I would be good even if I was clingy

That I would be good even if I lost sanity
That I would be good
Whether with or without you

Some Mondays are harder than others. Today is hard. I needed to post this so I could get it out of my system and start picturing bigger and better things. It is hard to not feel like you measure up. It is hard to feel like you chose a path in the road that was harder than everyone elses… and now there is no turning back.

Half full suggestions anyone?

Is the glass half empty or half full? is a common expression, used rhetorically to indicate that a particular situation could be a cause for optimism (half full) or pessimism (half empty); or as a general litmus test to simply determine if an individual is an optimist or a pessimist. The purpose of the question is to demonstrate that the situation may be seen in different ways depending on one’s point of view and that there may be opportunity in the situation as well as trouble.

Thank you Wikipedia 🙂

“I’ve got this theory that there’s two types of people in this world. There are lyric people and there are music people. You know the lyric people tend to be analytical, all about the meaning of the song. They’re the ones you see with the CD insert out like 5 minutes after buying it, pouring over the lyrics, interpreting the hell out of everything. Then there’s the music people… who could care less about the lyrics as long as it’s got a good beat and you can dance to it. I don’t know, sometimes it might be easier to be a music girl and not a lyric girl. But since I’m not, just let me say this: Sometimes things find you when you need them to find you. I believe that, and for me it’s usually song lyrics.”


I am a self-proclaimed lyric person. Gotta have good music with it – but in the end the lyrics always get me. Just had to share that thought with you and ask you which you are. Also – share some lyrics with you that found their way to me this morning.

It’s been a long week. Being sick and missing work always seems to make the week longer, I think. But, I must say, it is nice to be back in the rhythm of my commute. I know, you think the sickness has infected by brain and affected my thinking, BUT my commute time is my think time. It is the time when I let the music fill the car at decibles that are bad for my hearing. It is the time when I sing really really good 🙂 because no one else can hear me. It is the time when I think about what to blog. It’s my own space within the little walls of my Honda Civic.

I heard the best half-full song that I was reminded of again today on my way in. I was feeling sorry for myself driving to work and thinking how much I preferred to be home in bed. If you are feeling half-empty, you might search up this song, and play it very very loud. Maybe even consider putting it on a tape-loop. 😀 And… btw… even if you aren’t a “little girl,” I would bet the lyrics still apply. See what you think…

“Hey, don’t write yourself off yet
It’s only in your head you feel left out
And looked down on

Just try your best
Try everything you can
And don’t you worry what they tell themselves
When you’re away

It just takes some time, little girl
In the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright

Hey, you know they’re all the same
You know you’re doing better on your own
So don’t buy in

Live right now
Yeah, just be yourself
It doesn’t matter if it’s good enough
For someone else

It just takes some time, little girl
In the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright

It just takes some time, little girl
In the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright

Hey, don’t write yourself off yet
It’s only in your head you feel left out
Or looked down on

Just do your best
Do everything you can
And don’t you worry what their bitter hearts
Are gonna say

It just takes some time, little girl
In the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright

It just takes some time, little girl
In the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright…”
-Jimmy Eat World, Lyrics to The Middle

Happy Friday!