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reSLience… a.k.a. resilience

it's what lies within that really matters

Category Archives: reflection

I woke up this morning with a Beatles song in my head… the lyrics repeating themselves over and over “Nothing’s gonna change my world… Nothing’s gonna change my world.” and I thought to myself… WAIT! That isn’t the right mantra to have in my head – no matter what world I’m living in.

So I hopped in the shower… still having that Beatles tape loop in my head (which btw, I love the Beatles so don’t get me wrong) and an old camp song from middle school came into my head. Montlure Camp 🙂

Chorus: You and I can climb every mountain, Cross every stream and drink from every fountain, In His name, In His name, In His name…
Verse 1: Truth is gone, the world proclaims, No foundation now remains, Yesterday cannot return, Tomorrow won’t be the same, but…
Verse 2: Men hide their deeds from human eyes, Their hope in self alone, Man’s power fails, the light grows dim, Blind lead blind, I hear their wail, but…
Chorus: You and I can climb every mountain, Cross every stream and drink from every fountain, In His name, In His name, In His name…

And… all of a sudden I started to feel really energized. Yes… I was in the shower. I sound incredible when I belt it out in the shower 🙂 heehee Beyonce has nuthin’ on me in that shower when I’m singing… let me tell you. And… I started thinking about the words. With an idea in your head of facing mountains and knowing you can climb them anything is possible… even 60+ page grants needing to be written in a matter of a few days… even silly drama that people I know seem to be praying on stirring more of… blah blah blah… forget it CLIMB THAT MOUNTAIN .

Then, I went on to give my youngest, Simon, his breathing treatment for his asthma as I continued to get ready for work. And I was reminded of another favorite song of mine. I fell in love with it during those same camp years and it has carried me through some very dark and stressful times. This is the one I sang softly as I rubbed Simon’s head and gave him his treatment. This is the one I’ll carry in my heart today. When chaos and darkness prevails, it is most definitely time to return to center. I added new quotes to my sidebar today. I’m excited that it is May 14 and there are incredible possibilities, including mountains ahead of me. And… I’m ready to climb ’em or move ’em.

Happy Thursday in whatever world you are in 🙂

All I Ever Have To Be
Written by Gary Chapman, Sung by Amy Grant
When the weight of all my dreams
Is resting heavy on my head,
And the thoughtful words
of health and hope
Have all been nicely said.
But I’m still hurting,
Wondering if I’ll ever be
The one I think I am.
I think I am.
Then you gently re-remind me
That you’ve made me from the first,
And the more I try to be the best
The more I get the worst.
And I realize the good in me,
Is only there because of who you are.
Who you are…
And all I ever have to be
Is what you’ve made me.
Any more or less would be a step
Out of your plan.
As you daily recreate me,
Help me always keep in mind
That I only have to do
What I can find.
And all I ever have to be
All I have to be
All I ever have to be
Is what you’ve made me.


If you wonder about something… it is always best to assume yes. most often your gut feeling was correct. SL is all about finding role models you admire. It is most definitely junior high revisited and when you take the time to examine why… it is because where else in life do you make and keep lists of people you like and people you don’t? I heard a guy on the radio the other day talk about social networking – and he too felt like it was junior highish – because putting yourself out there – faults and bumps and all – is all that. Ironically – some of us insist on going back for a second helping… aka experiencing Second Life.

I suppose the key to navigating our way through it all is to figure out how to best handle it. We don’t have zits and parents on our case any more. We have plenty of other things I’m sure – but in most situations, our brains are now fully developed and capable of self-actualization. So… where does one look for best next steps?

    Psychology Today?

• Learn to be brave. If you feel that you are easily intimidated into backing down, write down your feelings and give your writing to the other person.

• Don’t make blaming statements. Conflict resolution begins with the understanding that truth is relative. So much depends on one’s perspective, and none of us has a lock on the whole picture of anything. Nevertheless, most people start with exactly the most destructive question: Who is right and who is wrong. Two people spend time trying to convince the other of the rightness of his or her own position. But in fact, most disagreements are based on interpretations that come directly from private experiences in life, not some verifiable Truth. The single best way to resolve conflict is to listen to the other party. Most people just want to be heard; it is a basic form of validation. And often the solution suggests itself from what is spoken.

• Allow your partner to express his or her grievances. This is a good thing, because otherwise these feelings build walls between people.

• Take responsibility for your part in creating problems. Ask yourself: How did my actions and the things I’ve said or failed to say helped to create this situation or crisis?

• It’s the final step that people most commonly fall short on—accepting responsibility for making things better. “You need to seek out what will make the situation better in the future so this situation doesn’t arise again,” observes Raphael. “Further, you need to tell the other person, ‘this is what I need from you now to make things better.’ You need to take responsibility for what will fix it now. Is it merely listening? Is it an apology? Most people miss this piece.”

    Consider an authentic middle school approach 🙂

John The Kid Who Gets Everyday Pleasantries Wrong Kid!

John The Kid Who Gets Everyday Pleasantries Wrong Kid!

    And then… there is WILLA’s Way!

Hooo! Ask yourself… what would Willa do? And most likely it involves firearms and a whole lotta fun! Go Willa go!

Sometimes fire can be cleansing?

Sometimes fire can be cleansing?

For those who know me, I bet they would believe this is me. I’ll have you know I took it only once. True blue… that is me:

I was feeling a little tapped out in terms of blog posts for today. But, I feel like my blog has gained momentum and I wanted to offer something. My goal is to post at least once every day. Life sometimes gets in the way but selfishly, I love the relationships I have developed in the blogosphere. I want to honor them by offering at least a little post.

Yesterday was a perfect example of how much I value and honor my friends – and how it is reciprocated. The Rez Day party was so fun! The music was fantastic (thank you Crighton Johin), the food was delicious (thank you Blissie Boucher), and the crowd was lively and just fun! Bigd had invested in Truth or Dare – and when people got a little quiet, the questions were there to liven it up… well that and the gestures and the avitar washing machine for cheap entertainment.

People were incredibly generous. People have been and continue to be incredibly generous on SL… generous with their time, with their lindens, with their ability to offer help and assistance with creating, with shaping, with shopping. Hoo! I am forever in awe of how individuals from all over the world, total strangers can find each other and develop friendships that extend beyond SL. I don’t mean we are all meeting up for coffee or anything. But, honestly, can you tell me you go through your whole RL day and NOT have a fleeting thought wondering how someone is doing? I constantly wonder what Blissie is doing, just sayin 🙂 LOL! Or… does Jenda REALLY say those things in RL while out in public? You know the gesture I’m thinking of… or does Crighton REALLY swear that much anywhere and everywhere (my guess is yes, damn potty mouth)… Or… is Feemebleu wearing her metalic skin today to repel harmful sun rays? Or Parker… is she wearing some gigantic dress at her job in RL? THESE are the deep thoughts that fill my brain 🙂 Bradley and Borday? Well mostly I hope you are fully clothed in your RL as you go about your day. Does Borday offer to remove parts of clothing for each work order he fills (Hoo! Now that might boost his business 🙂 ). Amylyn… does she really sit in a room full of giant penises to conduct her day to day work in RL? Ok… I admit… I’m losing it.

Thank you for being there all of you. Thank you for each of the things you bring to our lives. I have to tell you a little secret. You have given Dave and I more to talk about in RL than we have had to talk about in YEARS that doesn’t focus on child rearing and bills and never ending work drama. Hoo! Cheers to another year (yes D is too afraid to commit to saying that – but what the heck, right?). Cheers to more Rez Days and dance parties and unseen or not yet shopped for attachments and fantastic clothes. Cheers to the limitless adventures that SL offers all of us. I look forward to them with each of you!

This post idea found me the other day. I held off on blogging for a long time because I was never sure I’d have anything to say. Now that I have joined the blogosphere, I realize there are so many post opportunities I have to harness them because there are not enough hours in the day to post what has come across my path. Ultimately though, I tend to roll posts around in my head for hours or sometimes days before I know it will come out right. Sometimes you just know when the time is right.

As you know, I have a long daily work commute. I fill my commute with music, and enjoy the DJs banter. One day in particular, the RL DJs were discussing how people treat each other and what we are teaching our children. They came to the conclusion that if Mister Rogers was still around – departing his love and kindness over the airwaves – that perhaps our future world would have a better chance. The RL DJ talked about how she had called the PBS station and asked specifically about why the show was no longer on. The station representative explained that the show had not been on for several years because Mister Rogers had officially retired prior to his death. This then led to a discussion on people dying shortly after they retire from a career they are passionate about… but I digress that is another blog post altogether 🙂

Anyway, I took some time once I got to work to pull up the YouTube clip they had played the audio from on the air. They had suggested that listeners watch it periodically throughout the workday when they are having a tough time with their bosses or colleagues. Not bad advice LOL! I watched it. I thought about the things my kids like to watch. I thought about the things PBS airs now. I thought about the timeless themes about life and friendship and caring that Mister Rogers brought to the world so plainly in his cardigan sweater and tennis shoes. The messages are still there in other things we watch and fill our heads with. We just have to dig deeper for them.

Spongebob still teaches friendship and tolerance with his undying love for Patrick Star, his best friend, and his continued attempts to love his neighbor, Squigward. Elmo teaches us to laugh and ask questions when we don’t understand. Even Ben10 teaches us to find the right tool to do the job when conquering evil and be persistant in the persuit of doing the right thing on behalf of our friends.

All these messages impact us. However, it is how we internalize the messages and act on others behalf that speaks to the type of people we are. Those are basic principles no matter if you are in RL or SL. I know the median age range in SL is 25-45. With that in mind, I would bet that most know who Mister Rogers is. Mister Rogers wasn’t just an American PBS phenominon. The principles that he taught most certainly are not just American. Either way… I hope you take the time to watch this clip. Laugh at his goofy style. Shake your head at his simpleness and naivity. But… for just a minute… open your ears and listen… and take another moment to reflect. See if any of what has to say rings true.

I have to catch myself every day and redirect my thoughts and redirect my actions, if need be. I try my best to be a good friend and to work toward making life a little better for those around me. I am so thankful for those who do the same in my life as well.

Thank you Mister Rogers 🙂 /me digs in my 12,000+ crazed inventory to find my rose colored glasses and slips them on. The world looks much better with them on. /me hands them out so others can enjoy the view with me.