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reSLience… a.k.a. resilience

it's what lies within that really matters

Category Archives: SL

a favorite from a passerby…

2nd life tab:

RL lessons that apply to SL…and vice versa!

1. common sense is the true sense
2. a sense of humor is only common sense
3. respect and trust are earned – never “acquired”
4. the right of way is always given – never taken
5. to be a teacher – you first need to know how to learn
6. you don’t pick your horse, your horse picks you
7. value friendship – you’ll miss it when it’s gone
8. lighten up! the game is life…life is the game…

1st life tab:
my RL is the same as my SL

– except that I appear to be a pretty good ballroom dancer – & there’s that small tattoo thing
– & I can fly
– & I really do hear little voices

Hmmmmm….some differences after all…

I was quite curious to learn there are classes in SL now to teach people about their profiles! I love that! I hate an empty profile! I have my best field trip finds from reading others’ profiles. Have you updated yours recently?


Yesterday was a unique day for Bigd and I. We had time ALONE on SL! I know that sounds odd — but normally he and I are racing around doing this or that or the other thing for a business venture or event. Today the middle of the day meant we sat there looking at each other and said… hey… wanna go on a field trip?

Deep in the Tomb

Deep in the Tomb

The King Tut sim will be highlighted soon in the Virtual Pioneers History Educator group that Kimmer and Bigd are a part of — but I was excited to go and explore ahead of time. Half way through our tour we heard from 2 familiar faces — Parker and Aeryn. We invited them to come too. Aeryn had to leave to order pizza so it was really Parker who braved the chilly underground tombs with us for the longest.

SL is filled with so many incredible opportunities. Field trips to explore the amazing imaginations of others is definitely something to not let take a back burner. They inspire and remind us of the possibility of SL beyond shopping and dancing and events and decorating.

Thank you in advance for indulging in our field trip photographs!

Click to See More!  Field Trip Photos are the BEST!

Click to See More! Field Trip Photos are the BEST!

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“Emotions will either serve or master, depending on who is in charge.” — Jim Rohn

“If you can keep your head when all around you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, then the world is yours and all that’s in it.” — Rudyard Kipling

“95% of your emotions are determined by the way you talk to yourself.” — Brian Tracy

I love these ideas. This weekend has served as a real turning point in my SLife. The stress of the school year is over. The pressure cooker that is 4 kids and a teacher husband all dealing with school deadlines is over for a few weeks (8 or 10 I think) and it is time to just BE! The heat has arrived as far as the temperature goes… but so has the opportunity for new adventures. The mute button is a wonderful tool and I have found it can be a good guard for one’s heart. I returned to working on my profile, squaring away details for the next artist incoming for June at the Bistro Olive… AND… getting ready to launch the ASSET-Eight land and the new venue called Schoolhouse Rocks! My life is full RL and SL and I am thankful to all those who I am still fortunate enough to call friend.

As far as advice? I’m not giving any… I’m just soaking up what is above. Not a bad find, eh? We had a 2 for 1 birthday celebration last weekend… well 3 for one really… so let me share a slice of leftover ice cream sandwich cake and another slice of leftover confetti cake with strawberry pink icing to enjoy. Cake and ice cream are a PERFECT way to be happy and enjoy the start of summer, don’t you think?

Besides... how can you be stressed AND sing Happy Birthday at the same time!

Besides... how can you be stressed AND sing Happy Birthday at the same time!

I SHARE by Botgirl

I SHARE by Botgirl

Thank you Botgirl for your insight and analysis.  You give lots of food for thought.  Why do you log in?

If you wonder about something… it is always best to assume yes. most often your gut feeling was correct. SL is all about finding role models you admire. It is most definitely junior high revisited and when you take the time to examine why… it is because where else in life do you make and keep lists of people you like and people you don’t? I heard a guy on the radio the other day talk about social networking – and he too felt like it was junior highish – because putting yourself out there – faults and bumps and all – is all that. Ironically – some of us insist on going back for a second helping… aka experiencing Second Life.

I suppose the key to navigating our way through it all is to figure out how to best handle it. We don’t have zits and parents on our case any more. We have plenty of other things I’m sure – but in most situations, our brains are now fully developed and capable of self-actualization. So… where does one look for best next steps?

    Psychology Today?

• Learn to be brave. If you feel that you are easily intimidated into backing down, write down your feelings and give your writing to the other person.

• Don’t make blaming statements. Conflict resolution begins with the understanding that truth is relative. So much depends on one’s perspective, and none of us has a lock on the whole picture of anything. Nevertheless, most people start with exactly the most destructive question: Who is right and who is wrong. Two people spend time trying to convince the other of the rightness of his or her own position. But in fact, most disagreements are based on interpretations that come directly from private experiences in life, not some verifiable Truth. The single best way to resolve conflict is to listen to the other party. Most people just want to be heard; it is a basic form of validation. And often the solution suggests itself from what is spoken.

• Allow your partner to express his or her grievances. This is a good thing, because otherwise these feelings build walls between people.

• Take responsibility for your part in creating problems. Ask yourself: How did my actions and the things I’ve said or failed to say helped to create this situation or crisis?

• It’s the final step that people most commonly fall short on—accepting responsibility for making things better. “You need to seek out what will make the situation better in the future so this situation doesn’t arise again,” observes Raphael. “Further, you need to tell the other person, ‘this is what I need from you now to make things better.’ You need to take responsibility for what will fix it now. Is it merely listening? Is it an apology? Most people miss this piece.”

    Consider an authentic middle school approach 🙂

John The Kid Who Gets Everyday Pleasantries Wrong Kid!

John The Kid Who Gets Everyday Pleasantries Wrong Kid!

    And then… there is WILLA’s Way!

Hooo! Ask yourself… what would Willa do? And most likely it involves firearms and a whole lotta fun! Go Willa go!

Sometimes fire can be cleansing?

Sometimes fire can be cleansing?

In the never-ending dilemma of keeping or deleting people from the SL friends list, I found this quote a perfect fit.

Regina: We do not have a clique problem at this school.
Gretchen: But you do have to watch out for “frenemies”.
Regina: What are “frenemies”?
Gretchen: Frenemies are enemies who act like friends. We call them “frenemies”.
Karen: Or “enemends”.
Gretchen: Or friends who secretly hate you, we call them “fraitors”.
Regina: [rolls eyes] That is so gay.
Karen: [gasps] What if we called them “mean-em-aitors”?
Regina: [scoffs]
Gretchen: No, honey, it has to have the word “friend” in it.
Karen: Oh…
~ Mean Girls, 2004

Why keep people on your list if you don’t really like them? To avoid drama? Because someday they may come back and be your friend again? Because you don’t believe in un-friending but you do believe in ignoring? What qualities should be in a friend who made the list? How do you figure out who not to put on your list? The whole list thing… I’m sure it will be a sociology study of the next few decades.

There are horrible things all around us that make life too short to deal with the silliness of who said what to whom when. Bigger issues like marital separations, cancer, job cuts, financial losses, illness in children, aging parents…. aren’t these the issues we should be focused on? When does it become less about petty grievances and bigger issues to care about and support each other on. I found Second Life at a point in my own first life when I was at an all time low for creativity and sadness with regard to a hostile takeover in my career. I found friends. I found laughter. I found people I genuinely care about. I found creativity. I didn’t realize this Second Life would also contain all those dark elements of first that just suck the life out of you.

I’ve always been one to believe in asking for what you need. If I am on your list, and I am not giving you what you need. Then either speak up, and ask for it, or simply consider moving on. Delete me. I know that sounds silly and bold at the same time but honestly… life is too short. I’m still in Second Life for all those same things I wandered in and found almost two years ago. But I have added to my list – business ventures and event planning and publicity. I love those things. It allows me to be something in Second that I do some in first and it allows a fun interchange between the two.

Decide whether you want a list of friends, or a list of frenemies. Simple question. Either you’re on one side of the fence, or the other. Pick one. Make something positive and joyful and exciting of your Second Life. Why would you spend time and energy doing anything else with an imaginary world ruled by real hearts and minds?

Mary Poppins got it right!

Mary Poppins got it right!

I used to joke about work furlough programs. I thought they were something you got in prison -like a work release – when you have been good and they let you out to work or something. OBVIOUSLY I should have consulted a dictionary and really understood it. I have a big fat FURLOUGH staring me in the face. This, not to be confused with a FURBIE, is much uglier and more disturbing.

I am not going to turn this into a grip post. I am RESILIENT after all and the queen of making lemonade out of lemons. So… I am taking my furlough day (aka a day with no pay so that my salary is reduced by my daily pay rate) – the first of 12 I must take between now and early June 2009 – with a spoonful of sugar. I realize I am horribly mixing metaphors but isn’t that how the medicine goes down when you live with Mary Poppins?

The GOOD NEWS? the SILVER LINING? NO ONE immediately will lose their jobs. They are saving some ungodly amount of money across the whole system ($24 million I think) by asking… no wait REQUIRING… everyone to take 10-12-15 furlough days. I fall in the middle so I’m a 12er. I am completely for this if it really helps. I am completely for this if it means NO ONE loses their jobs unnecessarily AFTER June 30. Will that happen? I just can’t muster enough pollyanna in me to believe that is the case. I think this is the first blow with more to come.

So I talked with my bus stop friends this morning. The guys that take their kids to school and wait at the stop. The guys from other types of employment communities who seemed shocked. They figured… oh … a furlough… just take all your days at once and go get another job for the month. Me being the achieve, achieve girl had of course already thought of that. However, a month of does not work because of loss of benefits, etc. Second jobs? Yes, I have thought of that too and applied everywhere and anywhere to teach part time in the evenings (knowing full well it would severely cut into my SL habit). Nothing. No second jobs. Everyone is too busy finding first jobs.

So… skipping along… singing a happy little working tune I go. I tell you. There is no fat lady singing here. It ain’t over. Dave and I are working with some very cool friends, who are equally strategic, and we are going to launch a LLC. If we can’t find extra work, we’ll make our own. I’m SO EXCITED about it. Its all about getting the right people on the bus and getting headed up the mountain in time to reap all the benefits that come at the top – at the Tipping Point. WE are going to be on that bus. No short bus this time. Lemon from lemonade. Sugar with our medicine.

Cheers to restrictions from looking at work emails. Cheers to new beginnings and all things that are born from tough times. RESILIENT baby!