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reSLience… a.k.a. resilience

it's what lies within that really matters

I am currently teaching a few courses online and found this today. I just loved it. I think it applies to any life you live in – first or second. See what you think:

A value is the worth that you place on something.
Your values are what you believe in or consider to be important.

Re-thinking your values is important to strengthening self-esteem because they help you decide what is right and wise for you.

Your values help determine the guiding principles by which you live. They influence your decisions and the goals you set.

For many situations in life, there aren’t clear cut answers… including this effort to explore values.

I especially appreciate the last point. I think so often when we are in conversations with others we are implying or imposing our values on someone else. It is extremely difficult to step outside those and go to a neutral place to consider the values of someone else.

No matter what though — I still love that blogger’s thoughts on profile quotes 🙂 I’m digging the value set he imposes as he reads others profiles in SecondLife! If only first were that easy 🙂


I suppose this is what is required when you are not sure what to write or what there is to say. SL has grown somewhat stale. My RL is overflowingly busy. Things on SL are at the end of my RL day when I’m exhausted. I suppose it is either a sign for a break or a sign I need to find a new time zone 🙂

The Bistro was a year old in August 2009. It will be approaching its 1 1/2 year old celebration this weekend in its new location… no longer new on the 1/4 sim at Marco Island. Clubs come and clubs go but I thought… and still think… the Bistro has something unique to offer people. I hope others still feel that way. Some days I am not so sure.

I found the best blog today while out looking for things for the VWBPE conference as Kimmer. It quoted things found in profiles and made fun of them. It made me laugh. I think too often people in SL take themselves WAY too seriously and forget to laugh.

Second Life profiles are the cause of more bloody drama and bullshit than I care to even waste my breath writing about. And people rarely mean what they say in their profiles. Here are some common profile lines and their translations from bullshit to English.

Just consider yourself forwarned… you WILL recognize the quotes in this blogpost! Laugh. Make sure you laugh. And… if you find your profile offers something similar.. maybe perhaps you should consider an edit?

Oh… and if you think you haven’t bothered to say hello to someone in a while.. or wait for them to come to you… then make an effort… right now to change that. SLife and RLife is too short to not remember and remind those you appreciate that you do!
My new SL best friend!

Yes… I realize this post is a bit preachy but I try very hard to keep everyone in my SLfamily happy and often wonder if they wonder about me. Yes… I am a bit down. I am discouraged when my SL boyfriend simply answers me with a simple automated response rather than thoughts he formulated himself. He is a handsome devil but doesn’t communicate well. *sigh* *points to picture of said boyfriend above*

I hope you will join me!

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What has SL meant to me? What impact have virtual worlds had on my day to day world? Instead of writing paragraphs, I think I’ll make a list.

1. My kids think some days I love Second Life (SL) more than them. How silly they are!

2. SL has pushed me to be a better communicator and a better presenter with adults. (plus I learn all the new abbreviations for things and pretend to know what I am talking about when using them!)

3. I have friends from all over the world and enjoy talking with a wolf from Italy almost every day! I learn shopping tips from a crazy NYC girl. I enjoy stories from a sweet woman in TN. And… I shield my children from the crazy language of a man in NE!

4. I own an art gallery and host events for those crazy friends and anyone else who happens to wander through. The art gallery features real world and SL artists. The events include live guitarist, Joaquin Gustav, from Buenos Aries, and local AZ talent, Barty Aum!

5. I have joined professional learning communities with educators from all over the world. I am inspired by social studies teachers in Virtual Pioneers led by New York educator, Spiff Whitfield (SL name) and technology teachers a part of ISTE! Have you met Shamblesguru?

6. I have learned how to build, clean up, host charity events, and have crazy adventures including skydiving, dancing on roofs, flying over the Wall of China, pillowfights, and surfing! We have raised money for the American Cancer Society, the American Heart Association, and the American Red Cross.

7. I have helped my husband become a DJ! Yes… right from his computer… in his pjs… he shares his favorite tunes at different times and places in a virtual world. Blues on the Green on Sunday mornings is his official time and location. If you haven’t ventured in-world yet, join us then for breakfast!

8. I explored new ideas and talents and met people from other walks of life. From the comfort of my couch, I have traveled the world and floated in space and done yoga and tai chi. I have become a rhino and a peacock. I can be a beautiful blonde at any time. I have an incredible wardrobe and can dance on my head! Who’d have thought 🙂

9. At a time in my life that is about being a mom to 4 kids, a wife to a wonderful husband, and enjoying a full time career, I have time to grow and laugh and be me — and indulge and just soak up fun things without ever leaving home.

10. People will laugh and think of these cartoon adventures and have a hard time wrapping their heads around such experiences. I smile and nod and hope someday they step foot in a prim-filled world — even if it is just to see what it is like to fly.


Walk On


3 years with the NYC Girl named Blissie!

People who wander into our lives are sometimes only there for a short while. Little did I know 3 summers ago, Blissie was not to be one of them. She was there for the long haul.

We met at Rob’s and One World. We just happened upon each other and enjoyed showcasing our inventories of noob-ness on the dance floor. We got good at changing during DJ gigs. We offered everyone gifts from our noobish inventory whether they wanted it or not… drinks, slippers, snacks… and then… Blissie’s trademark cupcakes and love of them made their debut.

She went on vacation for a week that summer in her first life and I missed her like crazy. She had become my partner in crime. How could I do dance floor changes and run amuck without her? When she returned, I pounced her and vowed to never let her go. This NYC girl works like I do. She multitasks and bakes and cleans (like I wish I did). And she is competitive like no one I know except for my husband.

In the photo slide show you’ll see a picture of bullriding. She and Bigd spent many hours at the bull pen next door to One World. I would wake up to find Bigd had been trying to beat Blissie’s score for at least an hour before the rest of us stirred! I’m not sure who won but the competition didn’t stop there.

There were wardrobe challenges. The poor girl once wore a whole folder… her ENTIRE inventory… at once at Robs! I laughed until I cried. We pillow fought and wore spankers. Any new gadget seemed to find its way to us and Spanksgiving was born.

We built at Burning Life. Well… Borday built and we watched. Then we rebuilt while Borday swore. (Problems with land rights in BL). We wandered. We went on Sunday field trips. Blissie always warned people she was armed and warned me she didn’t make friends with just anyone. That was my job. She would rescue me from busrides across Burning Life and scary guys on dance floors.

We partnered to save each other from crazy gropey boys. Then I shamefully unpartnered because I was building my RL image for work in SL and didn’t want to confuse people… not that there’s anything wrong with that 🙂

We’ve had phases and eras. The gesture era. The attachment era. The food era (has that ended?). The club opening event DJ hostessing era. The blogging – profile advice giving era.

In the end it boils down to one thing: time tested friendship and love. She pounces me at work on gmail every once and a while. She includes me in her profile or blog and makes me smile. She dresses up with me and shops and eats and even has pot-roast-cooking-contests. But… no matter where our paths go, they always lead back to the thing that brought us together in the first place.

Her heart is huge. She is a fierce defender of things. She loves taking pictures of herself as much as I do 🙂 and she is an incredible ALT finder. She never hides. She just is.

Both lives make us remember what is important sometimes even when we don’t want to. Blissie’s RL is hard right now. While I know I can’t make things better, I can remind her how much I appreciate her in my life. First and Second… imaginary or not… my world is better for knowing Bliss. Cheers Gypsy Woman from NYC!

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*A brief introduction to this: I laid in bed this morning knowing this was my next blog.  I rolled it around 10 times over in my head and just knew it was what I would write about. Some things just feel that important.  I will do a series.  I am not sure in what order or how frequently because I cannot be disciplined with my blog like I should or wish I could.  But over the next few weeks, I will profile for you the imaginary friends who make up my SLife*. I realize they are not imaginary and so do they.  That is simply a term that a friend and colleague of mine coined one day.

Many have touched my life in the past 3+ years Second Life has wandered into my day to day existance.  Some become household names and are forced to say hello to all my Real Life household names. They are fiesty and crazy and fun.  They are people I might pass on the street in the real world and never know.  They are people who wandered into my Second Life and are important to me.  They are the friendships that make being a mom of 4 and a wife and a crazed working woman possible.

So… without further ado…  Here comes my series.

*Second Life and SL and any other reference I make are trademarks of Linden Research, Inc. This series, my blog, my life – as Kimala Kohime or any other Kim in-world are not affiliated with or sponsored by Linden Research.

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